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I was fighting for my life in a country club convention center. I entered a BlazBlue: Continuum Shift tournament for fun, but I still didn’t want to lose in the first rounds. I spent my first match getting destroyed as my opponent exposed how little I trained. Now to avoid elimination I had to win my next match. My opponent was using Tsubaki, a soldier girl wearing a body-covering uniform. My hopes rested on Mu-12, a half-naked robot girl.
I neither expected nor wanted to play as a half-naked robot girl when BlazBlue came out. But I never expected to enjoy playing BlazBlue either.
I could never get into BlazBlue. The series is known for its unique roster, but I didn't like any of the first game’s fighters. I only played the game when my friends wanted to, and I listened to the bonus soundtrack more than I played the actual game.
My hope in Continuum Shift rested on one of the game’s new characters being enjoyable. The arcade version originally came with two new characters: Tsubaki and the villainous Hazama. When Arc System Works ported the game to consoles it introduced Mu-12, a new final boss, but my excitement for her evaporated as soon as she was announced.
I hated everything about Mu-12’s character design. I’m hated that Mu-12 was a sprite-swap of another character, only with as much flesh exposed as the developers could get away with. I hated that she was an alternate version of another character, Noel Vermillion, essentially turning the game’s final boss into obnoxious fanservice. I even hated what she was wearing: Why did she still have Noel's tie on?
To be fair, Soul Calibur’s Ivy and Guilty Gear’s Dizzy have the same type of outfit as Mu-12, and there are alternate colors where a leotard is “painted” over her body. Still, Mu-12 feels more like a promotional tool than a character. The game disc has Mu-12 with her back to the reader, showing her behind and smiling like she’s posing for an otaku statue. Even in a behind-the-scenes video BlazBlue’s character designer said he faced objections to Mu-12’s look, though apparently not enough to change it. Noel is arguably the most-popular character in BlazBlue, and Mu-12 reeks of a marketing cash-in.
I waited until my friends bought the game, and since Tsubaki and Hazama didn’t grab my interest I never got it myself. To play as Mu-12 you have to either buy an unlock code or complete BlazBlue’s hours-long text story mode, and my friend who did unlock her lived 40 miles away. When I finally came to his place two months later I decided to try her out.
[embed:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fz0WQFZEEQ4&feature=related ]
I hated Mu-12 the character, but Mu-12 the collection of sprites and hitboxes was the Goldilocks warrior I wanted. Mu-12’s gimmick — the ability to summon little laser pods onto the field — could be used both to keep opponents away and set up an offense. BlazBlue is very combo-heavy, and every player eventually has to learn long attack strings to succeed. With proper use of her normals and specials, however, Mu-12 isn’t completely dependent on combos. She reminded me of Rose, my favorite character from Super Street Fighter 4.
After three close games the Tsubaki player defeated my purple-armored, black-suited Modest Mu. I failed to advance, but I thought I did well considering my lack of preparation. Later, I watched another Mu-12 player fight all the way to second place. I can rant over the design, but the actual playing I want to commit to memory.
As an anime fan, I know characters like Mu-12 come with the territory, and it’s easy to blame others for encouraging these portrayals of women. But as long as I look the other way to enjoy a good game, am I making way for more Mu-12s in the future?
This is an entry for Jeremy Signor's October Bitmob Writing Challenge, called Editor's Choice. My editor for this article is Richard Moss, and you can click through these pages to see my progress from first draft to final edits.
First Draft
Originally this was a "sequel" to an earlier article called Play the Characters You Hate. I don't think anyone remembers it, however, and I didn't like the tone this article was taking. I spend three-fourths of the article ranting about Mu-12's design and fanservice characters in general, only to reverse my stance and act like it's no big deal.
Richard was great at pointing out which paragraphs didn't work at all, and the fact that he wasn't a big fighting game fan helped me know when I was getting too technical. It's a bit embarassing to post this.
It’s common for people to shy away from certain games or characters they may like because of personal bias and I’m no exception. (This is a bit awkward and indirect, especially for an opening sentence. Maybe something like "People often shy away…") A while ago I wrote about how I stayed away from Street Fighter’s M. Bison for years, for no reason other than I don’t like evil characters. (This may just be personal preference, but I'd go with an em dash rather than a comma here. And "I previously wrote" is more authoritative.) This time, I’m going from Street Fighter to another fighter, BlazBlue, and into another of my pet peeve character designs: girl characters designed for obnoxious fanservice.
First off I’m not stupid. (You'd better use a comma if you want people to believe that ;) ) I know Japanese industries has been hemorrhaging money due to piracy and decreased DVD/game sales, and it’s easier to make up the money with merchandise sales. (Japanese industries is not an entity. Perhaps you mean the Japanese game industry? Also, easier than what? I think you should be explicit rather than leaving it to the reader to fill in the gap.) Female characters are big sellers, so there’s an impetus to put in at least one giggling girl with a supermodel body who stuffs people into her assets, as well as tweak other girl characters into money-making material – no matter how out-of-character or questionable it may seem. (Did that really need to be one sentence? Also, "one giggling girl with a supermodel body, who stuffs people into her assets" conjures a very odd image in my head. Surely you could think of a better way to phrase this hyperbole.) I don’t understand why anyone would want to have a body pillow of the depressing unhinged women in Neon Genesis Evangelion. ("Depressingly unhinged women" or "depressing, unhinged women." (Unhinged is a verb, so you have to decide whether depressing is an adverb (depressingly unhinged) or an adjective (depressing, unhinged). You and me both.)
So what does this have to do with BlazBlue? Simple – my subject is the boss of BlazBlue: Continuum Shift Mu-12. (Seriously? What a horrible name.) Mu-12 is actually a transformed version of Noel, the game’s main female character and who is very popular. (Try "the game's popular lead female character.") Mu-12’s design is based of the boss of the first BlazBlue Nu-13, which is understandable because the two are related in storyline. (Based on. Minor issue: Why should I (as reader) care about this? It seems like an aside, and, although the context later becomes clear, at this very moment it is irrelevant. Elaborate, justify, or move it.)
The problem is that unlike the Ryu-Ken headswap or Mortal Kombat’s ninja rainbow Arc System Works went out of it’s way to make Mu-12 physically different from Nu-13, and it did so by taking off the character’s clothes. (Add commas after "ninja rainbow" and before "unlike" for improved clarity.) Instead of having the body suit of Nu-13, Mu-12’s body is naked except for a silly tie top that shows the bottom of her breasts and a metal plate covering her naughty bits. (Rephrase. Something like "Whereas Nu-13 wore a body suit, Mu-12's body…" would be better. Also, the bit at the end should be "..a metal plate that covers…" — don't change tense mid-sentence.)
To be fair, Mu-12 isn’t showing anything more than Dizzy, another ASW character from Guilty Gear, and there are plenty of alternate colors with a bodysuit colored on her. (The last part of this sentence is confusing. I don't know what you mean.) The problem is that the final boss of the game is a fetishized version of Noel. It’s bad enough that in the story Noel is portrayed as weak and easily manipulated, but now when she’s suppose to be threatening she’s wank material. Even if there’s some deep symbolic reason for her to be half naked, it’s thrown out when the DVD cover for the game is her posing in an ass shot. (Oh dear! Consider your word choice here. I'd replace "it's thrown out" with something stronger and more emotive, such as "it becomes worthless/hollow/empty" or "it's made trivial/trifling." And maybe instead of "is her" you could write "shows her" — I'm not sure about this one.)
My excitement for her evaporated as soon as she was announced. (I like this sentence. It's economical and right to the point.) I enjoy fighting games because they take skill and practice to be good, while fanservice characters are the epitome of instant gratification.(Wouldn't "but" be more appropriate here?) I already didn’t enjoy the first BlazBlue that much anyway, mainly due to how I never liked how any of the characters played. (What a horrible sentence. Already is redundant. And the second half of the sentence has four words where there could easily be one. Rewrite it.) I waited until my friends bought the game, and since the new characters Tsubaki and Hazama didn’t grab my interest either I never got it myself. (This one isn't much better. Did your mind completely wander off during this paragraph? Rewrite the paragraph or scrap it entirely — it doesn't add much, and breaks up the flow. The next paragraph seems to pick up where the previous one left off.)
I didn’t actually play as Mu until two months later. To play as Mu-12 you either have to buy an unlock code as DLC or complete BlazBlue’s hours-long text story mode, and the only friend who did that lived 40 miles away. ("The" only friend? Perhaps "my" only friend would be more appropriate.) Since it isn’t every day I would get to play as Mu I decided to try it out. (This is a bit wishy-washy. Rephrase as something shorter and snappier, and maybe make it clear that it's your friend's copy you played.)
That’s when I had the epiphany. Mu-12’s main gimmick – the ability to summon little laser pods onto the field – could be used both to keep opponents away and start an offense. You could actually be creative with them. While this is BlazBlue and you still need to memorize longish combos to get far, Mu-12 had some decent normal attacks and defensive tricks so she wasn’t completely dependent on that. (I'll preface this by saying that I have never played BlazBlue: How about stating "you still need to memorize long combos to get anywhere…"? This may work better as two sentences instead of one, with the first sentence stating the fact that BlazBlue is typically combo-heavy and the second pointing out how this game is different. Also, the "so she wasn't…" part of the sentence feels tacked-on right now, even though it is core to your point.)
Mu made me enjoy BlazBlue more than any of the 12 characters that came before her. She reminded me of Rose, my character of choice in Super Street Fighter 4. I even entered a tournament, even though I rightfully lost badly for playing a game I didn’t own with a character I had at best eight hours playing as. (Rephrase. My suggestion: "I even entered a tournament, which I rightfully lost as a result of playing a game I didn't own with a character I barely knew.") And at least I wasn’t playing as Makoto, the chipmunk girl in a miniskirt. (Get rid of the "And.")
Bless that horrible degrading character. (What is horrible modifying? If both words are intended as adjectives, a comma may help the clarity. If degrading is intended as a verb, it should be "horribly degrading..") She saved BlazBlue for me.
Interesting piece. It should be good after some polish and minor restructuring. The flow is a little uneven, but I think you know how to fix that.
Second Draft
My main concern in this draft was to include more of me actually playing BlazBlue. Even if I went 0-2 at a tournament, it shows I'm interested in more than just playing at a friend's house. I also needed to focus on why Mu-12 bothered me specifically, instead of fanservice as a whole.
I was in a rush to send this to Richard so that I would have time to make changes, so I still had grammar errors. He also told me to cut the story down by 100 words. During this I changed the middle paragraphs to bring in other fighting-game characters as a comparison.
I was fighting for my tournament life in a golf club 180 miles from home. I entered a BlazBlue: Continuum Shift tournament for fun, but I still didn’t want to lose in the first rounds. I spent my first match getting blown up as he exposed how little I trained for this event.(Use "my opponent" instead of "he.") Now to avoid elimination I had to win my next match. My opponent was using Tsubaki, a soldier girl wearing a body-covering uniform. My hopes rested on Mu-12, a half-naked robot girl. (This is a much better introduction than the one in the old piece.)
I did not expect to be playing as a half-naked robot girl when BlazBlue came out. Nor did I want to. But I never expected to enjoy playing BlazBlue at all either. ("But I never expected to enjoy playing BlazBlue, either." No "at all.")
While I am a fighting game fan I never got into BlazBlue. The original game, BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger, is known for having a small but very unique roster, but none of the game’s 12 characters interested me. I only played BlazBlue when my friends wanted to, and I listened to the bonus music CD more than I played the actual game.
My hope in Continuum Shift rested in one of the game’s new characters being enjoyable. (Rested "on.") The arcade version originally came with two new characters: Tsubaki and the villainous Hazama. When Arc System Works ported the game to consoles it introduced Mu-12, a new final boss, but my excitement for her evaporated as soon as she was announced.
I’m disgusted with everything about Mu-12’s character design. I’m disgusted that Mu-12 was a sprite-swap of another character, only exposing as much flesh as ASW could get away with. (Get rid of "only.") I disgusted that she was an alternate version of another character, Noel Vermillion, essentially turning the game’s final boss into obnoxious fanservice. (Proofreading will probably fix this, but "I'm.") I’m even disgusted with what she IS wearing: What is with that tie and those shoulder pads?
To be fair, Mu-12 isn’t showing anything more than Dizzy, another ASW character from Guilty Gear, and there are alternate colors where a black leotard is “painted” over Mu’s body. There is a storytelling motif behind it: As Mu-12 Noel is a tool with no free will, so if the armor comes across as objectifying women, well at that point she is an object. (Remove the "as" after the colon. Either use an ellipsis after "objectifying women" or rephrase.)
Still, no one plays fighting games for their stories. Even then you would have to play the story motif straight, and the game doesn’t. (Comma after "Even then.") The DVD cover is Mu-12 with her back to the reader, showing her bare behind and smiling like she’s posing for a Revoltech statue. (I had to look-up Revoltech before I knew what you meant. Keep that in mind.) Fighting games at their best are about depth and self-improvement, but Mu-12’s design is the epitomie of shallowness and cynical marketing. (Epitome is spelled wrong.)
I waited until my friends bought the game, and since Tsubaki and Hazama didn’t grab my interest either I never got it myself. (Add a comma to each side of "either.") To play as Mu-12 you either have to buy an unlock code as DLC or complete BlazBlue’s hours-long text story mode, so I didn’t play as her until two months later. (Word order issue: "have to" should come before "either.") My friend who did unlocked her lived 40 miles away, and since isn’t every day I could play as Mu I decided to try her out. (Unlock. "Since it isn't…" Consider making this two sentences.)
While I hated Mu-12 the character, but Mu-12 the collection of attacks and hitboxes proved to be the Goldilocks I wanted. (Remove "While.") Mu-12’s main gimmick – the ability to summon little laser pods onto the field – could be used both to keep opponents away and or set up an offense. (Forward slash between "and or.") BlazBlue is very combo-heavy, and every player will eventually have to learn long attack strings to succeed. (Replace "will eventually have" with "eventually has" — no need to complicate the tense.) However, Mu-12 had some decent normal attacks and defensive tricks so she wasn’t completely dependent on combos. (Comma after "tricks." Should this sentence be in present tense instead of past tense? (i.e. does she have that stuff independent of your experience, or was it unique to the situation?)) She reminded me of Rose, my favorite character from Street Fighter, and at least I wasn’t playing a chipmunk in a miniskirt.
After three close games the Tsubaki player defeated my purple-armored, black-leotard Mu-12. I ended up going the dreaded “two-and-out” but I thought I did well considering I had only a few days of actually liking BlazBlue. Later, I watched another Mu-12 player fight all the way to second place. The sprite design I could write a diatribe over, but the actual playing I want to commit to memory.
As a long-time anime fan I know characters like Mu-12 come with the territory. (Comma after "fan.") In a behind-the-scenes video BlazBlue’s character designer said he did face objections to how revealing the armor is, though apparently not enough to change it. It’s easy to blame the “stupid masses” that buy into these kinds of portrayals of women, but some blame goes to the people who don’t like it but look the other way in order to play a good game. (Consider "must go" instead of "goes.")