Startup-advising robot dino FAKE GRIMLOCK moves to books to terrorize us in print (Q & A)

Crazy robot dinosaur FAKE GRIMLOCK is known for giving entrepreneurship advice in an unorthodox manner. Now he plans to expand his humorous critiques of startups and advice by moving into books.

We’ve been keeping close tabs on FAKE GRIMLOCK and recently asked him to give advice to our readers and give us his takeaways from CES. As usual, both articles are filled with lots of humorous anecdotes and advice.

The robot dinosaur now has a new project. He has done all the illustrations for the upcoming book The Lean Entrepreneur by Brant Cooper and Patrick Vlaskovits. The book will be released on Feb. 26, and tackles the challenges of being an entrepreneur on a shoe-string budget.

FAKE GRIMLOCK got his start doing artwork on a guest post for VC sage Fred Wilson. Being involved with a project like The Lean Entrepreneur represents an evolution of his brand and a sign that people are taking the “dinosaur robot guy” seriously. And after this, he even plans to release his own book via a Kickstarter campaign.

We decided to ask FAKE GRIMLOCK a few questions about the project and what else he’s seen recently in the startup world. Check out his answers below:

VentureBeat: Why did you decide to contribute artwork to this book over some other project?

FAKE GRIMLOCK: THEM ASKED.

ME NOT KNOW PATRICK OR BRANT AT ALL BEFORE THEM ASK ME TO DO BOOK. IT GIANT RISK FOR ALL THREE OF US.

VentureBeat: Where do you get your illustration inspiration?

GRIMLOCK: ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, HAVE TINY BRAIN.

STEP ONE, CUT AWAY EVERYTHING ABOUT CONCEPT THAT NOT FIT IN BRAIN.

WHEN ONLY PART OF IMAGE THAT MATTER LEFT, ME DRAW IT.

THIS GOOD WAY DO OTHER THINGS TOO. CODE, UX, PRODUCT, VACATION PLANS, DINNER. ONLY DO PART THAT MATTER, NO WASTE TIME ON REST.

VentureBeat: What’s the big sell for this book, besides your lovely artwork?

GRIMLOCK: LEAN ENTREPRENEUR BOOK ABOUT ONE THING. HOW TAKE “LEAN STARTUP” STUFF, DO SOMETHING WITH IT.

THAT BIG PROBLEM RIGHT NOW. LOTS OF TALK ABOUT LEAN. NOT MUCH DO.

NOW NO ONE HAVE EXCUSE. BUY BOOK, READ EXAMPLES OF HOW PEOPLE LESS LAZY THAN YOU ALREADY SUCCEED, GO OUT AND DO LEAN INNOVATION, OR SHUT UP AND GO HOME.

VentureBeat: Is the focus of this book for tech startups or any startup company?

GRIMLOCK: THIS BOOK FULL OF STUFF FOR ALL HUMANS! PRODUCT MARKET FIT? THAT NOT JUST ABOUT TECH STARTUP. IT LAW OF PHYSICS! APPLY TO EVERYONE!

ME GIVE EXAMPLE. TAKE REVERSE FUNNEL, USE FOR FIND DATE. OLD BUSINESS WAY IS RUN DOWN STREET SCREAMING PHONE NUMBER, WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO CALL.

LEAN ENTREPRENEUR WAY IS FIND SOMEONE WANT TO DATE YOU, GO ON AMAZING DATE, WORD GET AROUND.

SAME FOR BUSINESS. PAY TO SCREAM AT PEOPLE THAT NOT INTERESTED ALWAYS WORST OPTION. TRY GIVE DAMN ABOUT PEOPLE ALREADY INTERESTED INSTEAD.

VentureBeat: Did you learn any new lessons about entrepreneurship while working on the book that you can pass along?

GRIMLOCK: ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, ALWAYS LEARN!

FAVORITE LESSON ABOUT SQUARE HATS.

EVERYONE LOOK FOR EASY WAY TO FIND MARKET. IF YOU SELL SQUARE HATS, MARKET NOT PEOPLE 14-27, OR ASIAN MEN WITH MUSTACHES, OR FEMALE AVOCADO FARMERS.

YOUR MARKET? PEOPLE WITH SQUARE HEADS.

FORGET STUPID DEMOGRAPHICS! FIND NEED, SELL TO THAT.

VentureBeat: You’ve got quite the personality and are prone to eat humans. Did you get along well with the authors on coming up with art?

GRIMLOCK: YES. US FOLLOW VERY SOPHISTICATED SYSTEM. THEM WRITE WHAT WANT, ME DRAW WHAT WANT.

BRANT AND PATRICK PRETTY SMART GUYS. THAT HELP. ME ALMOST NEVER TEMPTED TO EAT THEM. THAT NOT TRUE FOR MOST PEOPLE.

VentureBeat: The book outlines several case studies for entrepreneurs. Is there one that sticks out as especially enlightening?

GRIMLOCK: THERE ONE ABOUT 500 STARTUPS. BUT EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT THEM, SO IT KIND OF BORING TO TALK ABOUT.

INSTEAD ME TELL YOU ABOUT APPFOG. IT LIKE STEP BY STEP GUIDE TO DO LEAN RIGHT. MAKE MVP, GET TRACTION, LISTEN TO CUSTOMER, STOP DOING CRAP YOU WANT BECAUSE YOU WRONG. AND OTHER IMPORTANT THINGS.

THAT WHAT THEM DO, NOW THEM HAVE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS INSTEAD OF NOTHING.

VentureBeat: Can you name a few startups you admire?

GRIMLOCK: ADMIRE? NO. NONE OF THEM LIVE UP TO ME, FAKEGRIMLOCK, STANDARDS YET.

BUT THERE SOME THAT NOT ENTIRELY SUCK.

ME LIKE IS BRANCH. THEM PROBABLY FAIL, BUT IN RIGHT WAY. ITERATE FAST, LISTEN TO CUSTOMER, MOSTLY HAVE UX THAT NOT BROKEN.

GIVEFORWARD GOOD TOO. THEM TURN BORING IDEA OF COIN JAR AT GAS STATION FOR SICK RELATIVE INTO MASSIVE SUCCESS. ALSO, THEM LISTEN WHEN GIANT ROBOT DINOSAUR GIVE THEM ADVICE.

ME GIVE SPHERO PROPS LAST. THEM TAKE SOMETHING EVERYONE WISH THEM HAVE, ROBOT BALLS, TURN INTO LEAN PRODUCT EVERYONE CAN HAVE! THAT WIN!

VentureBeat: What’s next for you? Will you do your own book?

GRIMLOCK: SOLO BOOK KICKSTARTER LAUNCH IN MARCH.

ALREADY HAVE 2ND ONE AFTER THAT MOSTLY DONE.

Check out some of FAKE GRIMLOCK’s illustrations from The Lean Entrepreneur in the gallery below: