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Condemned 2

Condemned 2: Bloodshot is my favorite action/adventure game for the Xbox 360. I love this game for two reasons: 1. You play as an alcoholic prick, and 2. you get to pummel possessed hobos.

If you're like me, you've never been in a fight. And if you're like me, you've never been in a fight because you're a pansy. Condemned is a good way to let loose all that testosterone you’ve built up for the past 20-something years. The Condemned series has the most realistic and satisfying fighting physics of any video game. When you whap someone across the kisser with a lead pipe, you can practically feel their cheekbone shatter. With Condemned 2, you get to feel the satisfaction of being in a fight, but without having to worry about scratching the polycarbonate lenses in your plastic-rimmed glasses.

And Condemned 2: Bloodshot isn't graphic – it’s fucking graphic.

Condemned 2

Compared to other murder victims in Condemned 2, this guy got off easy.

You can almost smell the combination of viscera, garbage, and bodily secretions as you walk around in the game’s bleak, disturbing environments.

But the best part of Condemned 2: Bloodshot? It has a multiplayer mode ingeniously called "Bum Rush," in which you and some friends fend off a bunch of “Influenced” hobos. I mean, come on – the mode is called “Bum Rush,” and you fight actual bums. That alone should warrant the game a score of at least 99% on any review scale.