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"Umm, what?" I asked my friend in response to a late night text, likely sent from the bar.
"Where are the fat girls in Skyrim?" He replied.
I don't know what was more offensive: my friend's blunt honesty or that I had never noticed his concern. All it took was a drunk text for me to realize I was happy in a world of sexy elves, orcs, and cats.
Well, maybe I did notice. Like when I killed an old witch, stripped her to sheepskin panties (her robes were enchanted, ok?) and marvelled at her pale, dark elven body. This "old hag" had the torso of an Olympic swimmer.
It was strangely attractive. But then I was off to sell her clothes and smith a new axe. I chocked up the sexy models to technical constraints; jiggling fat is a lot harder to animate than stiff muscle.
Though, I suppose there have been graphical advancements in Skyrim, like the majestic banners flying in the wind, billowing robes, or my warrior's flowing mane of blonde hair. So, maybe it's less of a tech limitation and more of a design choice.
Ken Levine, co-founder of Irrational Games, responsible for the upcoming Bioshock Infinite, recently complained his fans were too fascinated with the breasts of his new character, Elizabeth. It seems he wants players to look past the voluptuous and beautifully proportioned boobs popping out of her shirt and start discussing the dangers of utopian ideals.
To that I say, "But boobs, Ken, boobs." If you want conversation, put Elizabeth in a turtle neck, not a corset.
One of his arguments is that, generally, people in media are more attractive than the average person. "People like looking at attractive people," Levine says.
But in games like Skyrim, with a myriad of customization, open-world gameplay, and freedom of play style, why keep gamers trapped in the same skinny stereotypes?
If I want to save the world as a 300-pound orc, let me. If I see beauty in a more realistically proportioned wife, why can't I find one? I want my old ladies wrinkly; I want diversity in body types.
You want to know where the fat girls are? They don't exist. And they never will until designers realize we're ready for them. I've tried telling them myself, but it's hard to concentrate when they wave perfect breasts in your face. And you wonder why we don't look you in the eye.