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I have a problem. I'm addicted to character creation.
Find me a game with a full-featured set of character options, and I'll gladly waste hours upon hours on it. I'll tinker with all the different classes, races, genders, and appearances. I'm even that guy who pulls on every slider for every facial aspect.
Ever play City of Heroes? I easily spent three hours on costumes before setting foot in Paragon City. I took so long making my Grey Warden in Dragon Age that my roommate had to leave the room due to extreme boredom. And I filled out the G.O.A.T. four times before leaving the Vault in Fallout 3.
And here's the worst part: I almost never use these characters for a full playthrough. They lie fallow, undeveloped, wasting away. And I think it's because their reality never lives up to their potential in my head.
See, when I create the avatar myself, I have all sorts of ideas and possibilities for him. I think of his backstory, his motivations, what he would think and do in given situations. But when it comes to playing that person in the game world, I never seem to retain that same emotional attachment. No matter how complex the dialogue trees or how many outcomes the game offers, I still end up feeling disappointed.
On the other hand, when I'm playing a specific role with already established characteristics and backstory, I find it easy to identify with — even if the character is mute. I feel for Wander from Shadow of the Colossus much more than I did my half-elf ranger from Neverwinter Nights, even though the latter is by far the deeper "role-playing" experience. Even if the characters are shallow or silly, I end up remembering them more fondly than those I made myself.
I think this is a real challenge for video games — they have to simultaneously allow for freedom of choice and individual play, while telling a cohesive and finite story. They have to let you make a character of your own design, and then make it fit the world and plot they've already created. Not an easy task.
For example, take the BioWare template. It doesn't really matter that my Jedi Sentinel in Knights of the Old Republic has four different dialogue options if none of them sound like something my Jedi Sentinel would say. I'd almost rather have the game just script it for me. Or — and I know this is unrealistic, but I can dream — even gauge what my response should be based on the other actions I've previously taken.
The thing is, no matter how much freedom we're given in a game, the ultimate authorship of the story still rests with the game's creators. Maybe that's why I'm OK with the linearity of a game like Final Fantasy 13, or the cinematic nature of Metal Gear Solid.
I don't mind being told a story. I just don't want to pretend I'm making my own when I'm really not.
