Uwe Boll wants you to give him $500K, so he can make a Postal 2 movie (and give his stars cocaine)

Uwe Boll wants to raise $500,000 via a Kickstarter crowdfunding campaign to make the movie Postal 2.

The German director hopes to get audiences outraged and laughing with this sequel to one of several of his films based on video games. Boll said in his Kickstarter video that the original Postal was the “best movie of all time.” In case this was before your time, the Postal games are about a psycho who goes “postal” and becomes a mass murderer, killing civilians and cops.

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The campaign kicked off today, and it has raised $1,864 from 41 backers as of this writing. It has 59 days to go. In his video, Boll describes himself as the “biggest director on Earth, basically.”

“You have to give me money that we do Postal 2,” he said.

He said he has to do Postal 2 to answer controversial questions.  “In the last few years, we just had too much. We had Osama Bin Laden, but where is he? Is there any photo of him, if he’s dead or whatever? What happened to building six in the World Trade Center attacks? And what happened to the Postal dude?”

Boll does comical adaptations of video games — his version of Postal included Osama Bin Laden — and they have been duds at the box office. He was able to raise a lot of money in the past thanks to German tax laws that encouraged investments in entertainment. But his game films — The House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, and In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale — were all commercial flops. But clearly, Boll doesn’t care. He just wants more money. He wants your money.

The film will star Jackie Tohn, and it is being written, directed, and produced by Boll. He says the money “goes all for cocaine for the stars down the nose.” As far as risks goes, he says, “Everybody will hate you, but the NRA will love you in being part of Postal 2. Our bodycount will be higher as Hiroshima and Dancing with the Stars combined.”