This post has not been edited by the GamesBeat staff. Opinions by GamesBeat community writers do not necessarily reflect those of the staff.
Today’s edition boils your indie gaming time into a bite-sized, three-minute chunk with Ninja Train. Check that one out, but be sure to read below and see if any of the others interest you. And don’t forget to give a dollar to the brilliant I MAED A GAM3 W1TH Z0MB1ES!!!1 if you haven’t yet.
Lastly, one bit of feedback would be much appreciated: How do you read the trial rundowns? Are the bad reviews entertaining? Are they of value to you? Would you prefer that I cherry-pick the best games and go into more detail, or do you like hearing my justifications for skipping out on the crap? Please let me know in the comments below, thanks!
Game Finder
Game Finder is too little, too late. It’s an app that allows you to rate Indie games through three different interfaces. While the first-person, Blockbuster-esque shelf-browsing is pretty cool, it’s simply too much effort to go into Game Finder when the Live Marketplace has ratings a mere click away. (80pts)
Goldens
Goldens is going to piss people off. You drive an odd contraption, digging for gold, sucking it up in a vacuum, and firing it out the back into a moving trolley. Figuring out what does what is an experience in itself, but then you have to compete with other players who are all trying to do the same thing. This is where the inevitable anger comes in, as you steal gold from each other constantly. It’s a very strange game, but it’s one to keep in mind when you have friends over and want to make them angry. (240pts)
Shardscape Assault
While the experimentation in Shardscape Assault’s trial game is endearing, it’s implementation is ultimately a turn off. The game does away with slow-moving tutorials and thrusts you right into the action. But being in the thick of it in Shardscape isn’t fun. Mountains of odd-looking respawning enemies hound you as you grapple with the controls. Meanwhile, the environment does its best to immobilize your already high immobile tank. Top that off with a cryptic system for upgrading weapons and you have a game that’s high on ideas but misses the mark in the end. (80pts)
1337 Ship Deathmatch
1337 Ship Deathmatch is an immature title for a amateur effort. It’s a multiplayer take on Asteroids, a game which doesn’t really hold up these days. It doesn’t fare any better as a multiplayer game, and it doesn’t even seem as fun as that original, dull, arcade classic. (400pts)
Wacky Karts
Few kart racing games hold up on the quality of their racing alone – Mario Kart, Crash Team Racing, hell, even Sonic R rely on powersliding, power-ups, and shortcuts to spice things up. Wacky Karts offers none of this. Aside from a few barely-useful power-ups, it’s just you, the road, and a bunch of opponents who inexplicably drive much faster than you. The game looks pretty good in an “homage to Mario Kart” way, but the actual racing is far too punishing and dull to be any fun. (400pts)
Atomhex
Atomhex is a tricky game to recommend. It doesn’t offer much to really set it apart from the scores of other twin-stick shooters. The only gimmick is a color-coded collection of enemies that require some Ikaruga-style resourcefulness to tackle. For the most part, it’s business as usual, but solid business in the end. It’s an enjoyable game, but there are so many like it that you have to draw the line somewhere, and Atomhex simple doesn’t do enough to set itself apart. (80pts)
Arbor Vitae
Arbor Vitae is a flawed and ugly twin-stick shooter that comes with one of the most misguided examples of environmentalism you’ll ever witness. Your goal is to nurture and protect a tree from the most innocuous of villains – namely, bugs and pollen. Surely there are worse threats in the world, like lumberjacks. In fact, a game where you protected a tree from chainsaw-wielding lumberjacks would definitely be more fun than Arbor Vitae. (240pts)
Ninja Train
Ninja Train is a bizarre tale of ninjas bounding across buildings, collecting coins, and parachuting through the sky, all from the perspective of a passenger on a speeding train. More importantly, it offers a clever solution for bite-sized gaming on XBLI. Ninja Train is all over in about 3 or 4 minutes, whether you try your best or put your controller on the floor. The game doesn’t pull any tricks, and you can get your fill within the trial. On top of that, the catchy music, cute graphics, and quirky stylings make for an enjoyable snack between meatier games. (80pts)
A Frog Game
A Frog Game is so simplistic that I expected an offer for a free iPod at the end. All you do is press A to jump from one lily pad to another, and press a trigger to catch flies out of the air. That’s all there is to it. While simple games are the standard on XBLI, there’s no unique idea or finesse in the gameplay to elevate A Frog Game beyond a complete waste of time. (240pts)
Crescendo Symphony (RPG/Puzzle Thingy)
Eventually a game is going to come along that is so inexplicably Japanese that I won’t be qualified to review it. This new game in the Crescendo Symphony “series” walks that line. It’s a one-on-one puzzle combat game wrapped up in an RPG battle system format. You interchange blocks on a grid in order to build the most attack or defense points for your character. Then the two bug-eyed anime girls go at it and scream in high-pitched voices. Eventually, one of you lose, the game ends, and all that’s left is to do it all over again. The combat system would be cool in an actual RPG, but on its own Crescendo Symphony seems more like a tech demo with a big-boobed lady. (240pts)