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I don’t know the man. I’ve never met him. To be completely honest, outside of the “Brutal Legend” Demo, I’ve never even played any of his games. I know Tim Schafer only by reputation.So why am I dreaming about him?
The dream started innocently enough. I told some sob story to a friend of mine how Tim Schafer was my hero and the reason I custom made a pair of Adidas shoes with the ugly mug of Raz (Psychonauts) smeared across the sides.
“I met him once,” said I, “And in my awe-struck hero worship, I forgot to ask him to sign my shoes. God knows I had a sharpie.”
Said he: “Let us go to Washington, to the very heart of Double Fine’s base and ask him to sign your shoes. Make haste!”
Upon waking reflection, I believe my mind-grapes confused Double Fine’s location with Bungie’s… but alas my dream-phased brain cared not.
When we finally arrived at Double Fine Productions, we were halted by an evil receptionist and was forced to retell the nightmare of my fictional past. “One moment,” she said before disappearing behind the door that would lead to that God among insects. When the door opened again, it was not the receptionist that entered the room, but Lord Tim. He was wearing overalls, sans shirt. Yes, it was creepy.
“Oh my good Jehovah on high,” I thought to myself. “Tim Schafer!”
A small group of us talked for what seemed like hours. We listened carefully at the anecdotes of deadlines and hijinks. While getting a special preview of Brutal Legend DLC that Double Fine was planning. “How gloriously innovative,” the devil woman sitting at reception chimed in.
Naturally, as is often the case with dreams, things took a turn for the surreal. Tim Schafer was chasing me around a wooded area so that he could pretend to kill me. But only pretend. Afterwards, he would chase me again. It sounds awfully homoerotic when I put it into words… also when I picture it.
Running through the woods that were no doubt magical in some way, I fell into a bath of plastic utensils and just as suddenly as I fell asleep, I woke up. As relieved as I was that it was all just a dream, I couldnt help but feel frustrated. All that dream-time spent with Tim Schafer… and I still forgot to get him to sign my damned shoes.