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Editor’s note: Jon’s Christmas list consists solely of improvements to Xbox Live. While I agree with most of his points, I think I’d rather have some new games. If you’re reading this, Santa, Borderlands would be great. -Jay
Dear Microsoft,
I’ve been a good gamer this year. I’ve been friendly on Xbox Live, doubled my gamerscore, convinced my wife to play Borderlands with me, and even purchased a wireless adapter — all while my Wii gathered dust. I’ve even acquired two games that I previously swore would never appear in my collection.
My Christmas list is below. Please, Microsoft, give me a white (and green) Christmas — just not a red one!
1) Streamline the gamer rating system
It’s too disruptive to wade through multiple Xbox 360 Dashboard menus to give negative feedback to someone who is screaming into a headset in the middle of a Modern Warfare 2 Team Deathmatch game. Perhaps the system could give a player’s rating a small deduction if I muted him specifically, so I wouldn’t have to resort to muting everyone just to tune out one moron’s inane chatter.
2) Please be stricter about enforcing standards
It’s shameful that Modern Warfare 2 is allowed to break the rules regarding party chat and deprive users of a standardized experience. Gamers now expect that they will always have the ability to talk to other online friends, even if they are playing different games. Xbox Live charges players for features that its competitors (Steam and PSN) provide for free, so gamers deserve a more polished and uniform service.
3) Integrate Twitter into the guide menu
The reason Twitter works and is popular is that you can access it quickly in so many different ways. Quitting my game and launching Twitter separately takes so long, I almost forget what I’m to about to brag about: killing fellow Bitmob community member Mark Whitney by throwing his own grenade back into his camping tent.*
It’s significantly faster to load up my toaster’s Twitter client — they have Twitter for everything now — to lexically teabag him. As an added bonus, I can do this immediately without taking a loss for quitting the match.
4) Give the Xbox a web browser already
I can’t follow any links to painfully adorable animals or children hurting themselves in various hilarious ways with the current Xbox Twitter client. I don’t want an Xbox YouTube client to solve this problem — that’s a cheap work-around.
Microsoft embedded a version of Internet Explorer in the Zune HD that is actually winning over critics. The lack of an Xbox web browser at this point seems inexcusable.
5) Speed up the Game Library list
Why does my Xbox 360 take between 10 and 20 seconds to list my Game Library? This should be instantaneous; the system just reads a list of what is stored on my local hard drive.
My system seems to forget this list every time I back out of that menu. I’m spending an uncomfortable amount of time daydreaming about how much I wish Trash Panic or Super Stardust HD would magically pop up there.
6) Allow wireless network profiles
I frequently take my 360 to a friend’s house to game. While I find it annoying to reconfigure my Xbox for his wireless network, it’s not nearly as annoying as reconfiguring it to connect back to mine when I return home.
I know the wireless adapter was a bit of an afterthought, but even the Wii allows for multiple wireless profiles. Did you hear that Microsoft? I’m not even talking about personal injury or property damage, and I can still say, “Even the Wii does this.” I know those words hurt, and I don’t appreciate that you force me to say them.
So please, Microsoft, reward my gaming diligence over this past year! I deserve it!
*No Mark Whitneys were harmed in the writing of this article.