This article is adapted from my general purpose blog over at Feenwager.com. 

I used to do these over at 1up when I was still actively blogging over there, and I’d like to continue the tradition. The deal here is that I give an award to every game I played this year, good, bad, or indifferent. There isn’t a Game Of The Year per se but, well…I’ll let you figure it out.

So without further ado, I bring you:

The Most Asbestos Games Of 2009

And, we’re off…

Halo 3: ODST:

The “I Guess The Mini-Firefly Reunion Was Nice…But The Game Left Me Cold” Award.

The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion:

The “I’ll Be On This List Every Year Because You’ll Just Keep Trying To Get Into It And Fail” Award.

Monkey Island Special Edition:

The “It’s A Great Game, But You’ve Bought It About 67 Times Now, Moron” Award.

Sam & Max Save The World:

The “I Really Wanted To Love It, But Something Was Missing…Oh Yeah, The Comedy” Award

Fallout 3

The “Best DLC Even Though It Totally Re-Wrote The Ending And I Hate Retro-Continuity” Award. 

(Side note: I finally read Spider Man: Brand New Day this year. Wow. Just…wow. Incredibly, incredibly stupid. The only Spider Man story I can imagine that would be worse would be if they made the Vulture have a daughter and they called her the Vultress. But nobody would be dumb enough to do that, so I guess we’re fine, right?)

Ghostbusters:

The “Not Funny Enough To Be A Movie, Not Fun Enough To Be A Game” Award. (Shame, really. I wanted to like this one)

Eternal Sonata:

The “I Got Zero Achievement Points, So Clearly I Knew This Wasn’t For Me In The 1st Five Minutes” Award.

Banjo Kazooie – Nuts & Bolts:

The “I Know Game Reviewers Retroactively Decided To Like This Game, But I Think They Were Right The First Time” Award.

Infinite Undiscovery:

The “See Eternal Sonata” Award.

The Last Remnant:

The “I Really Should Give Up On Japanese RPG’s Since They Obviously Don’t Want Me Playing Them Any Longer” Award. 

(Special Achievement for biggest loser of a main character of the year. Either save the world or don’t, but stop fucking whining about it)

Arkanoid Live:

The “Seriously, Dude…Stop Re-Buying This Game” Award. (I do still dig Arkanoid, though.)

Peggle:

The “Gabba Gabba, We Accept You, One Of Us” Award. (The hours I’ve wasted on this game. Goddamned Peggle. Grumble, grumble)

Resident Evil 5:

The “Hmmm….That Really Came Out This Year, Huh? Wow. You’d Think I’d Remember It More Considering It Was The Sequel To One Of My Favorite Games Of All Time” Award.

Dash Of Destruction:

The “Best Free 180 Achievement Points In A Game Based On Doritos” Award.

Assassin’s Creed:

The “I Know I’m Ridiculously Late To The Party, But The Sequel Looked Really Good” Award.

Assassin’s Creed 2:

The “I’m Glad I Plowed Through The First Game, Because This One Is SOOOO Much Better” Award.

Also, the “Calzone! Panna Cotta! Spaghetti!” Award for ridiculous Italian accents from most of the characters. (Loved this game, by the way. More, please)

Shatter:

The “My Favorite Little Game Featuring God-Awful Techno Music” Award. (Go play it, it’s really cool. But bring your own tunes, unless um-chucka um-chucka is your sort of thing)

Trine:

The “I’m Pretty Sure I’ll Like This If I Play It For More Than 5 Minutes” Award.

Dragon Age:

The “BioWare Still Gots It, Even If “It” Is Really Brown & A Little Rough Around The Edges” Award. (I probably spent more hours on this game than any other this year)

Ratchet & Clank – A Crack In Time:

The “We Don’t Need A Silly Award, This Is Still My Favorite Series Of All Time And This Game Was No Exception” Award.

Also, the “F-You Jonathan Blow, THIS Is How You Do Time-Based Puzzles. Braid Is Still Pretentious Claptrap” Award.

Brutal Legend:

The “Sigh” Award. (I can’t talk about this game any more. Go listen to the latest Squadcast. I pretty much got it out of my system there)

InFamous:

The “You Had Me Right Up Until The End There” Award. (Seriously, who thought that the last hour of that game was a good idea? Anyone?)

Flower:

The “Whoa, Dude…You’re Like The Wind And Stuff” Award. (I think I needed to start taking drugs to fully get this game)

Batman – Arkham Asylum:

The “I Liked This Game WAY Better Than The Completely Overrated Graphic Novel Of The Same Name” Award. (Who knew a Batman game could be really, really good?)

MLB: 09 – The Show:

The “I Was Having Fun All The Way Up Until The Yankees Traded Me To Texas” Award. (F you, Cashman. Prick.)

God Of War Collection:

The “Oooh…Pretty” Award. (This is how to do re-releases. Everyone pay attention, please)

Uncharted 2 – Among Thieves:

The “Clowns Over My Death?” Award for packing more fun from beginning to end into it than any other game I played this year.

I know I’m not giving a “Game Of The Year” Award, but if I were…let’s just say that a copy of Uncharted 2 needs to be in every developer’s office going forward. Really, if you’re going to rip anything off, start there.

That’s pretty much it. If I’ve left anything out, it’s because I either forgot or it just didn’t make my radar. Also, I left out portable games because I never seem to finish any of them. I did, however, finally finish Chrono Trigger on the DS this year so I’ve got that going for me…which is nice.

I’m stumped for how to wrap this up, so I’ll just remind you to listen to the Squadron Of Shame Squadcast, follow me on Twitter, and for God’s sake, put on some pants.

Peace, everybody.