This post has not been edited by the GamesBeat staff. Opinions by GamesBeat community writers do not necessarily reflect those of the staff.
EBay currently has over 600,000 video game-related items on auction. As a writer in need of something to write about, I’m happy to report that many of the available items are mind-numbingly bad. In this (hopefully) regular column, I’ll scour eBay for the worst-of-the-worst, and reveal my findings with you.
Community contributions are encouraged, so feel free to fire off an email to letters@Bitmob.com subject: “Worst of eBay” if you find a particularly “special” auction that you’d like to share with the world.
Sound good? Let’s get started!
Item: Water World Virtual Boy NEW Factory Sealed WaterWorld
Description: “Hello. This set price is for the Virtual Boy game Water World. item is brand new and factory sealed.”
Current Price: $164.99
Why it’s terrible: This auction is the perfect storm of suck: A licensed game based on one of the most notorious box-office flops in history…AND it’s for the worst video game system ever made. I can only pray that this item sells and I’m somehow able to interview the person who buys it.
More horrible auctions after the jump!
Item: Men Underwear Sexy boxers briefs sleepwear Super Mario
Description: “Dynamic style of movement, flow lines cut hip, ultra-three-dimensional design, great color and style of movement routes, coupled with breathable and comfortable cotton fabric, it is essential that you forward to the men of fashion !!!”
Current Price: $2.99
Why it’s terrible: As the proud owner of Xbox 360 pajamas, I feel comfortable when I say that even I wouldn’t be caught dead sporting these briefs — no matter how much Shoe begs. One thing to remember about this auction: “it is essential that you forward to the men of fashion !!!” The seller doesn’t reveal what will happen if we fail to notify “men of fashion” of this awful underwear-related opportunity, and I‘m damn sure that I don‘t want to find out the hard way. Be sure to spread the word!
Item: LOT 46 Playstation 2/3 Guitar Hero Rock Band Red Octane
Description: “This is a lot of 46 official Guitar Hero Red Octane wired guitars (picture just shows 12, but there really are 46)! All work great. Some have stickers on them, some don’t (picture is just a stock photo). Some may, or may not, have their original box. All are in good working condition.”
Current Price: $599.95
Why it’s terrible: I think it would literally be impossible to give this worthless collection of plastic guitars away, much less sell it for almost $600. Thankfully the seller offers a seven day return policy — that should come in handy for when you come down off the drugs and realize what you just spent your rent money on. You’d better hurry if you want to get in on this amazing offer, there are just 28 days left to bid!
Item: ULTIMATE VIRTUAL BOY GAME COLLECTION- 28 GAMES + 2 MORE
Description: “THIS IS A ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY! I AM SELLING THE MOST COMPLETE VIRTUAL BOY COLLECTION YOU CAN FIND IN THE WORLD. THE GAMES HAVE BEEN SAFELY STORED IN BOXES SINCE I HAVE OWNED THEM. I AM A NON-SMOKER SO THEY ARE COMING FROM A SMOKE FREE HOUSE. I HATE WHEN I BUY GAMES AND THEY SMELL LIKE SMOKE.”
Current Price: $2,499.99
Why it’s terrible: Obvious Virtual Boy and price reasons aside, this auction for the “MOST COMPLETE VIRTUAL BOY COLLECTION IN THE WOLD” is missing five games. Either this guy is lying about the “MOST COMPLETE” part, or the Virtual Boy really is so shitty that even the best collection in the universe is missing 15 percent of the system’s games. At least they don’t smell like cigarettes.
And this week’s worst item is:
Item: Sarah Palin Signed Autograph XBOX 360
Description: “The infamous Sarah Palin XBOX 360 was autographed at the governors picnic on July 24, 2009, in Wasilla, Alaska, just two days before her resignation as governor of that state. You can own this 60GB, perfect-condition, one-of-a-kind item before her expected run for president of the United States of America in 2012.”
Current Price: $1,100,100.00
Why it’s terrible: Imagine how good this treasure would look on your shelves in between your Geraldine Ferraro autographed Atari 2600 and signed James Stockdale SNES. I was going to put in a bid for this gem, but I refuse to pay $15 for shipping after I’ve dropped $1.1 million on a console — I’m not made of money!