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Editor's note: Let's hear it for — no, let's drink to — timeliness! -Demian
Saint Patrick's Day is a holiday that calls for debauchery. Whether it be car bombs, drinking until you can’t feel feelings, or getting into rowdy ruckuses with guys who wear way too much green, the Irish stereotype calls for much celebration. While too much celebration may give the law a reason to lock you in the hold, there’s certainly no reason not to imbibe a bit of the spirit and allow these Irish video game characters to help you tip your hat to the holiday (c'mon, you try and make that segue):
Atlas (Bioshock)
I hope I don’t have to throw a spoiler warning on a game that came out almost three years ago, but, if for some reason you haven’t played it yet, go ahead and skip over this character, as it involves a pretty huge spoiler for the game.
Though Frank Fontaine certainly isn’t Irish, Atlas, his “helpful” alter ego who vocally accompanies you throughout most of the game, certainly is. Allow the dulcet tones of a pretty good impersonation of an Irish accent to wash over you, as he kindly asks you to kill your father and every splicer you come across. Also, there’s enough whiskey in the game to compensate for the betrayal you’ll feel when the Bronx accent of Fontaine takes over.
The McReary Clan (Grand Theft Auto 4)
Certainly not a company to pull punches, Rockstar introduced what may be the most stereotypical Irish family into its popular franchise.
The McReary’s, formerly a powerful crime family, had fallen on hard times after corruption, drugs, and the squabbling between brothers had taken them down to motley crew status. Integral to the game and providers of some pretty entertaining missions (as well as the conversations throughout), the McReary’s certainly deliver some Irish charm. Sorry about the fall from grace, guys.
Colin Moriarty (Fallout 3)
As one of the first NPCs that your character meets, Colin serves an important — if small — role: Not only can he show you how rough the Wastes have become, but he is a perfect example for the types of people you’ll meet along the way.
As one of the principal citizens of Megaton, Colin certainly has a right to be a complete prick. And he is: Mistreating his zombie bartender and requiring precious, precious bottlecaps from you in order to get information about your missing father showcases the necessary quantities of greed that have allowed many humans to survive in a world of ghouls and super mutants. Whether you choose to save or destroy Megaton, either way he probably won’t give much of a damn
Aran Ryan (Punch-Out!!):
Your introduction to the World Circuit in both the Wii and SNES versions of the game, Aran Ryan is an Irishman who fights more like a street fighter than an actual boxer.
Employing crazy, life-sucking bear hugs and the infamous “Irish Jig,” Ryan is a mix of previous fighters Piston Hurricane and Pizza Pasta (probably one of the best names for anyone, ever). Don’t let the shamrock on his belt fool you; instead of luck, he has one hell of an uppercut and can certainly take some punches.
Sean Devlin (The Saboteur)
Based off of an actual person (William Grover Williams), Sean Devlin is a racecar mechanic/special agent who has certainly earned the sauce he so eagerly imbibes.
While he may not have been the lucky charm of the development company that created him (Pandemic was liquidated after the release of the game), Devlin was certainly an Irishman worthy of his birthright.
So there you have it. Who'd I miss?