Mi: Bitmob Pirate Radio!

 

YEEEES! Hello there audience of the strangely tolerant, no one's favorite games writer Mi here with a self indulgent experiment.

That's par for the course these days I suppose but it's nice to make a return to form. I was trying to be all lovey dovey last time I posted something talking directly to my many fan. (Hi again Lance) I have been told that that didn't work out well. I stopped paying attention about halfway through and let my publicist take care of it.

Just kidding, Jeffrey isn't my publicist. That would imply that I pay him.

Anywho yours truly has been hiding from the Bitmob Defense Force (they have giant robots) for a little while since the screaming match I caused but I can't stay gone for long. I have said it before and I'll say it again. I'm addicted to attention. (even the small amounts that I do get.)

Aren't you? Be honest with yourself. Being told you did good is just a warm and fuzzy feeling. Too bad for us that kudos are a hotly contested quality. All that sickly saccharine syrup is in short supply (chain combo!) and so pathetic punks like us take what we can get.

Even if what we can get is a few doses of rage virus. Hot damn do I love the cold shoulder and the hot Internet flames. If you can't be loved you might as well be interesting. So interesting I shall be for you all today.

I am here bringing goodies. Game music (this is a gaming blog after all) and some short order cooking from my brain oven. I decided to structure this post like a radio show. I am a shock jock DJ and I'm going to shock you all right in the jock with unfiltered Mi-ness. So listen to some music (props to the Bitmob Community Jukebox for the idea I'm stealing like the Pirate I am.) settle back, and stay tuned for the comments section below. Down there's where I'm holding the call in portion of our program.

Our first super sound is from some Super Heroes.

Viewtiful Joe 2 presents True Heroes

 

 

[embed:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Sd05IZOXUM ]

 

Such a toe tapper. Viewtiful Joe as a series was on the 'hard as hell' side of my difficulty spectrum but one of the things that keeps you going is the tunes.

I hope you all actually listen to the music. I know it's so tempting to scroll down but fight that urge till the audio burrows it's way into your brain. Radio shows would be no fun if you can fast forward. So fake radio shows are no fun if you ignore the main course to get to your dessert. (Dessert? I give myself too much credit. I'm like the side dish here.)

So after recently setting up my twitter feed I gained one follower. After some prodding I found out that follower was resident Bitmob hipster Lance Darnell.

I also found out that he didn't know I was a chick. So I suppose that leaves all of you in confusion. If a sharp man like him can't tell then I must not have the 'feminine wiles.' So let me just say I'm a girl.

I can see it now. Rivers of nerds getting the creeps and distancing themselves. If you get that worried about the gender or perceived gender of your fake Internet friends then nothing I say is going to stop you so bye bye.

Anywho lets get ourselves out of this overly confrontational rut with more songs!

Next is the hoppy boppy tunes of Rainbow Road, originally from Mario Kart.

 

 

[embed:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6UB9rGuD-o ]

 

 

Cleansing pop nonsense. Nintendo is always good for something squeaky. Rainbow road was always my favorite track too. I'm an old school SNES Karter so I remember when that shit was flat! FLAT RULES!

I must say, on an unrelated video game tangent I am hooked on Kick-Ass. Bought the graphic novel and have high hopes for the movie, but I noticed something weird. Game informer has a blurb about the movie on their calendar (which they pad with a bunch of non game related shit, because there is no way you can populate a calendar with only game news…)

And I quote “You may think you're going to see a superhero movie, but you're actually just watching teenagers cosplay. Gross!”

To this I respond “Tunk you asshole!”

Kick-Ass is actually a rather clever deconstruction of superheroes as a concept and the human obsession with becoming something exceptional. It's brutal and goofy and weird but I like it. I also kind of like Cosplay because it's sexah.

The next song is rhythm and balance from sonic adventure 2

 

 

[embed:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BE84V987NQ ]

 

 

I sometimes played the white jungle level in sonic adventure 2 just to hear this song. I'm glad I never really knew the lyrics because the song writers had a bad habit of just writing lyrics about what the level plays like. Just listen to any knuckles song in that game and try not to kill yourself. I dare you.

Still despite the bad camera the game actually was kind of fun. Even if Shadow was an emo git.

Just so you know I'm firing a little off the cuff today. No preparations, little editing after the fact…just like normal right?

Anyway my purpose is that I just want to free flow this as if I were talking to you in the midst of all this music, like a real DJ. You might ask why I don't just record myself instead of doing this in text. I would then tell you to shut up and stop trying to de-construct the flimsy illusions that make up my continued existence!

A little mystery and imagination can go a long way. Fake people like me are like Tinkerbell

“Clap your hands if you believe in Fairies”

If no one claps I'll die. I assure myself that such a thing would be horrible. If you think otherwise then I'm scared of you. Survival instinct, I figure.

Next up music wise is On a Pale Horse from Halo: Combat Evolved.

 

[embed:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcJuxkcXbkw ]

 

 

Brings back fond memories. Like strafing a cluster of grunts with the Banshee's fuel rod gun and leaving them dead in the snow.

Oh and to answer a question from Lance that was asked earlier today. What I feel about the Library in halo 1 is that I am going to go and play it while listening to podcasts after I'm done here.

That level and some really scheezy games like Earth Defense Force, Dynasty warriors, and Tenchu Z scratch an itch for things I can play while just zoning out and splitting my attention between the game and some hilarious audio from my favorite comedy podcasts.

Moving on rapid fire to the next bit of music we have a song that…I honestly don't know the title of for sure. All I know is it's from Ghost in the Shell: Stand alone complex for the PS2.

 

 

[embed:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9zb6RR53Gs ]

 

 

yeeees….I'm an electronica junkie I'll admit. When we get enslaved by the robot uprising I at least know that we will work in the silicon mines with awesome background music. Also someone please make another Ghost in the Shell game. Now that people have finally figured out console first and third person shooter controls we owe it to ourselves to stomp some heads as Major Kusanagi again.

 

I was playing Sim City a while back (the SNES version, cuz I'm old school.) and got to thinking about something. They call this sort of game a 'god game' but I don't think that is accurate. I'm an atheist but my concept of god wasn't someone working within limitations to try and make things the best they can be (or the worst if their a jerk) for those below.

If you think about it who is in control in a god game is the person who programmed the game. They made the rules the player has to follow and thus can dictate the players actions in many ways. So if god exists I think they are the system of rules that we all operate inside (the program "Sim City" rather then the player), or they are the programmer who created that system of rules. Either way that puts the onus of our actions and the results of those actions directly on us from the perspective of god's intervention. The programmer of Sim City isn't going to make the game rebuild those houses you just got Bowser to stomp on.

God's framework is already in place. It's just our job to fulfill it or screw it up with our own selfish actions.

So if you wanted a framework to believe in god, but still have no hope spring from that belief. (The best of both worlds!) then there you go. It's on the house.

Keeping with the theme of the electronic and the kind of creepy, our next song is Grace and Glory. Off of the Jet Set Radio Future soundtrack.

 

 

[embed:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3rmTYLx23A ]

 

 

This is the bad guy's music in JSRF, but even my favorite character in that series (the hoppy girl named Rhyth/Mew) found herself admitting that the bad guy had some great taste in tuneage.

 

Jumping right to the next song we have a tune from back in the days when fully voiced theme songs were a rarity in gaming. So much so that the only two examples on the N64 were this song and the theme to the Blockbuster Video only release of “Clayfighter: Sculptor's cut.” Twas truly a dark day when that stinker of a tune was notable for anything.

The better song was a cheesy Anime style theme for Mystical Ninja: Starring Goemon!

 

 

[embed:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNs-VE-T59g ]

 

 

quake in fear at the cuteness! As the Japanese used to make games that were unapologetically Japanese and still saw an American release!

Now some Japanese game makers seem to feel like the only way they can make money is to make at least one of their characters seem like they are out of Gears of War.

Here's a clue, Internet. In my not so humble opinion Gears of War sucked. It had decent shooting controls but the story was a joke, the art style was a joke, and the idea that anyone would be looking up to it in any way other then 'lol cover system' is just sad.

I don't want to play games where people with no necks chainsaw other people with no necks in half while shouting 'eff yeah!'. If I wanted a testosterone enema I'd get the mandatory one they give you right before you go into the audience at a UFC match.

It's fine for something to be over the toppy manly on occasion. Just for cripes sake, gamers and game makers, keep it at modern warfare 2 level or below. We are trying to fool the rest of America into thinking we AREN'T all 12 year old children who fooled their parents into buying games for them.

 

Now, my listeners (er…readers….wait….listeners is fine if you paid attention to the music) I leave my final song in your hands on a somber note. I have made mistakes in the past and I will make mistakes in the future, as we all are destined to do. The key, I believe, is to trust in yourself and make mistakes that are completely and totally your own. Not to waste what life you have making the mistakes others tell you to make instead.

The last song for this edition of my mad ramblings is from the first video game to ever make me misty eyed and make my heart soar with hope. This song was a big part of it.

It's Can't say Goodbye to Yesterday. The ending theme to Metal Gear Solid 2

[embed:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogQT-2fB8pY ]

 

 

 

Now for the call in portion. Lets hear from the listeners in the comments!