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Chances are slim-to-none that you've had a run-in with a real yakuza, but that didn't stop Sega from making a game based on these mythical creatures. In order to bring the game to the United States, Sega had to cut some questionable content from Yakuza 3, their latest iteration of the game based on the aforementioned mythical creature: the yakuza.

Mythical half-turn.

Fan outcry has been strong. Most gamers are opposed to content being cut, even if it's a game playable for free on the internet. Some gamers are eccentric.

But let's look at the facts: Are hostess clubs relevant to North American gamers?

The quick answer: No.

The slow answer: Still no, but cutting content is questionable.

In a recently uncovered memo, which I can't link to for fear of mythical creatures hunting me down, Sega explains in detail why the content was cut. Here it is, for the first time anywhere:

Sega of America

Memo # 23660 – AzM

Top-Secret Stage 2: Chaos Emerald Sapphire

 

To Public Relations:

We have decided to cut content from Yakuza 3. Naturally, many of our consumers will be angry with us. They can play Mahjong for free anywhere, they can even just Google search Mahjong and find a good, free-to-play version. It's simple. We don't know why they are angry about this being cut. Tell them about Google search, they must not know.

Regrettable, we have also cut Hostess Clubs (pictured below).

We can see why the fans are angry about this being cut. It's just so yummy! Still, Americans aren't into junk food or sandwiches, so it was trashed. Explain to them the cultural divide, and why brushing your teeth twice a day, and three times on the weekend, keeps the sugar bugs out of their teeth.

Finally, whatever you choose to say to them, please don't mention that we were going to replace the Hostess Clubs with different Hostess Clubs (pictured below), but due to time constraints and our lead artist accidentally acquiring rabies, we couldn't get them in the game.

 

 

We have given the fans your home address, please prepare your house as if there was a zombie outbreak. We have a gun dealer we can connect you with. We also recommend pouring gasoline on your front porch. You know what they say: The early bird gets the worm!


Regards,

The Yakuza Team