3D Gaming on Consoles Is the Worst Idea Since Virtual Boy

Editor's note: I haven't tried 3D gaming on a console long enough to verify what Rick claims, but I do know that I came out of an Avatar showing with a monster headache. I hope that's not a taste of my gaming future. -Brett

Any reasonable human being outside of Sony's marketing wheel will tell you that 3D is neat. It's nifty. It's fun when it works well. And it's like taking a sledgehammer to your skull when it doesn't.

Before I launch into this rant against the 3D initiative that Sony pushed over and over again at E3, let me preface by saying I think the Nintendo 3DS is fine. It's a handheld. It doesn't require glasses, and it isn't going to affect me and my gaming habits in any way. That being said, playing 3D video games on your home television is the stupidest thing to happen to this industry and its core gamers since Nintendo trotted out the red-vectored 3D flop called Virtual Boy in 1995.

Three years ago, a group of friends and I ventured out to watch the movie Beowulf in 3D. We were stoked at the idea of CG violence in the third dimension. Axes flying over your head sound great on paper, but when your brain actually tries to process the overwhelming effects your eyes are absorbing over a long period of time, you’re in trouble. We walked out of the theater with excruciating, mind-bending headaches. All I remember about the experience was trying not to vomit (and, of course, Angelina Jolie's near-naked body).

The best part about all this 3D gaming nonsense is that no one acknowledges the difference between watching 3D films and playing 3D video games. Watching a film in 3D is a passive and controlled experience. Playing a video game, on the other hand, is an active experience, and in most cases you're controlling the camera yourself.

Let's fast-forward to a scenario.

It’s 2011. You're at your house and have a hefty amount of free time. You decide that you're going to burn the next three or four hours on Killzone 3 in 3D, so you pop on your overpriced 3D glasses over your normal glasses. For the first half hour, you're having a mind-blowing experience.

Then an hour passes and your eye fatigue kicks in. Now you can't discern any of the artistic nuances within the game. Stuff is flying at you too fast.

Another hour passes. Your eyes are exhausted and your head feels like it’s going to split open. You quit after an hour and a half despite yourself. You really wanted to keep playing but your eyes and brain couldn't handle the bombardment of depth-heavy imagery. And that’s Killzone 3 — kid stuff.

Just imagine Bayonetta 2 in 3D. Or Devil May Cry 5.

Damn, I forgot my glasses.