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I think Geometry Wars is freakin’ amazing, but it’s not for the reason most people might think. When people think of Geometry Wars, the last thing they probably think of is the characters. But the characters in Geometry Wars have more personality in one of their perfectly-angled points than most other video game characters do in their entire bodies.
So, instead of telling you why I think Geometry Wars is one of the best games on the Xbox 360, I’ll just introduce you to the enemies of Geometry Wars. After getting to know these guys, you’ll see that Geometry Wars is way deeper than the average arcade shooter.
Timmay!
This enemy is slightly special needs – he’s slow and wanders around the level aimlessly. Shooting fish in a barrel requires more skill than taking down Timmay!. You almost feel bad for the little guy.
Spencer
This guy reminds me of Spencer Pratt – he’s a fixture on the scene, but has no real talent to speak of. Spencer’s only real skill is pestering you. He’s a nuisance at best, and he’s never taken seriously. (Just like the real Spencer Pratt!)
Barry
Named after Detroit Lions running back Barry Sanders, this guy will evade your fire just like old number 20 eluded defensive linemen. Barry’s sweet juke moves will not only have you in awe, but will also piss you the hell off.
Saddam
This guy is like a neon, flamboyantly-colored weed: Much like a tyrannical dictator, once you kill him, four miniature versions of him appear. He sure is purdy, though.
Kirstie
Kirstie will gorge on anything in the vicinity until he literally explodes. Masochistic much?
Tapey
I’m not sure when tapeworm became a geometric shape, but Tapey managed to wriggle his way into the game regardless. The best way to take him on is to focus on his head. ::waits for someone to say, “That’s what she said.”::
Randy (The Random Object)
Okay, I’m pretty sure the developers ran out of geometric shapes at this point. And that’s how Randy (The Random Object) was born. He’s like Pac-man, if Pac-man took steroids, had a bullet-deflecting shield, and was an all-around asshole.
The Biebers
These enemies are just like Justin Bieber fans – they’re small, attack in droves, and will trample anything in their path to get to their object of desire. In this case, you’re Justin Bieber, said object of desire. But the difference is that these little guys want to kill you, not capture a lock of your flowing hair.
With deep, well-rounded characters like these, it’s no wonder many people (i.e., me and one other guy) consider Geometry Wars to be one of the best games on the Xbox 360. I only wish all developers would take as much care when crafting their characters.