Relationship Advice for Gamers

My friends and I came up with the idea to help gamers with relationships. If you are interested in submitting a question send your email to DearAbby4Geeks@gmail.com.

My boyfriend's video games are destroying our relationship.-Stephanie

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years, we live together and have a 1 year old son. I love him to death, and I don't want to leave him or be with anyone else. However, he plays video games all the time. He will plays games from the second he wakes up till the second he goes to bed, and even if we go and visit his parents or friends, he will play there too. He has a great job, and he's off half the time because it's shift work. And when he's off he never wants to do anything. If I ask him for help, he will help me, but it's still frustrating.
I feel so lonely all the time, and I've said everything I can to him, and I still don't know what to do.

Stephanie, I may have the solution to your problem. You'll never feel lonely again. Go out and find the game Rez…get the version with the "Trance Vibrator" included. It's a bit more expensive, but worth it, trust me. If you can't beat em, join em. Make him play it for you and I guarantee you'll be the focus of his attention while he does. -Tori-

Stephanie, You say he’s holding down a job, helps around the house and you don’t want to leave him so find some girlfriends to satisfy your loneliness and need for more personal interaction. -Cindy-

Video games are an easy way to escape reality for anyone and they are fun to play however your man is obviously playing too much. Welcome to life with a “Hardcore” gamer. It sounds like you probably gave him an ultimatum and he picked games. Sorry. It happens. Try giving him an ultimatum because that always works. -Nick-

How do I ask this girl out?-Connor

Okay, so i am 12, and my friend is 13, she's blonde and very athletic, anyway i really want to ask her out but i cant fix up the guts to ask. What should i do? By the way i didn't ask her because my friends will make fun of me if they find out.

Connor, by asking out Miss Athletic Blonde you risk public humiliation. If she says she’s not interested, you may feel rejected and depressed for several days/weeks. However she may be secretly dying to go out with you. In this case, by putting yourself out there you’ve gained an opportunity to develop an intimate and rewarding relationship with someone. You must weigh these consequences, and decide what you’re willing to risk. Because you are 12, you are at a golden stage of development where it is socially acceptable to privately ask her friends if she likes you. If you decide to go this route know that she will find out how you feel about her, and you may still be humiliated. -Rachel-

Go find cough syrup and drink two large mouthfuls then pop a Certs. After that find Goldilocks, grab her by that beautiful mane and kiss her on the mouth. Wait 22 minutes for the police to take you away and repeat next week. Works every time my man. -Nick-

Connor, She’s an older woman and athletic and you’re afraid of what your friends think. Unless you figure out how to man up she’d eat you alive. Grow a pair or ask someone else out. -Cindy-

Connor, the cake is a lie! She will eat you!

Can a wife and husband play video games together?-Lovel

I always was the weird one. Instead of thinking of romantic dinners on a cruise I think of a never ending video-game marathon on my wii with my future hubby! I'm not married yet, nor do I have a boy friend but I think it would be cute to play video games with him. Personally I like video games too, but my friends keep making fun of me and say, "What are you getting married to, a six-year old?" Is it strange to play video games with ur hubby? is there anyone else out there that does?

Yes, they can. I do. Several of my married friends play video games together. It’s not weird at all to hope to share a hobby with your spouse. -Rachel-

It is super fun to play together- just think of all the ways a heated, sweaty wii battle can end… As to your friends, who cares? Better to be married to a fun geek having those heated moments of competition than a "mature" guy whose hobbies include arguing with fox news channel on tv and internet surfing… alone. -Katie-
 

Does a guy who plays a lot of video games have a chance of getting a girlfriend?-Robert

So i'm 18 and have never had a gf,or even kissed a girl. And i'm just wondering if my video game habit will affect my relationship with girls.I'm not some fat guy that likes to sit home all day and play them but i do spend about 2-3 hours daily on video games.And i think this would be a big turn off for girls if they find out that i play video games.    So do you think i have a chance at getting a girlfriend?

18 and never kissed a girl? *PRO-TIP* Ask out a “practice girl”. You think you are a 7. Date a 5 or a 4 for a month. Everybody wins. -Nick-

They need practice too.

Do girls think that it is weird for guys to be playing video games?-Cadco

I play my xbox online some everyday but I just consider it a substitute for watching TV. I don’t think there is a difference in watching a 2 hour movie and playing a video game for 2 hours.
I have always wondered what girls who don’t play games think about it.
 

No, most of them don’t. Playing video games is your hobby. If a girl cannot accept your hobby, then she’s not worth your time. -Rachel-

Cado, Girls don’t think it’s weird for guys to play video games. They just want to feel like you’ll spend at least as much time perfecting your relationship with them as you do your video skills. -Cindy-

How do I persuade my parents to let me spend more time playing video games?-Joe

I don't get much time on video games any advice on getting more?

Parents usually see video games as a treat or a muzzle for their children. Make sure that it does not interfere with the things they see as important. Tell your parents how it is a healthier option than watching TV and doing the drugs that you so desperately want. They will come around. -Nick-

You probably won’t be able to ‘talk’ your parents into more time, but you might be able to earn your way to more time. Show them you can keep up with the stuff they think is important and they may let you spend more of your free time gaming. -Cindy-

Is it okay that I find it attractive that my girlfriend plays video games?-Reggie

I’ve talked to several guys at school and they said they wish they could meet girl gamers. I have a girlfriend and I love her very much. I sometimes wish she could play video games a lot like me. I sorta have a thing for girls who play video games. I find it really attractive. Like she tells me sometimes she plays them but not a lot. Is it okay that it attractive?

Yes. Everyone has different tastes in romantic partners. If you’re happy, who cares what anyone else thinks? -Rachel-

Reggie, You’re a lucky man! Your girlfriend shares your interest in gaming. It natural to be attracted to someone who likes something you enjoy. Don’t blow this by expecting her to have the some depth of passion, it may never happen. -Cindy-

What!? Hells ya it is OK to think gaming is attractive! It is important to find a woman with the same interests as you. As a man you build relationships doing activities with others whereas women build relationships through communication. You will grow and change but understand that male/female relationships need to be built and maintained on a minimum of those two pillars. -Nick-
 

Girlfriend is making me choose between her and video games HELP?-Indiana

I'm a gamer and I like to play video games for at least three-four hours every day. She says I put to much attention to them and not to her and now I have to choose between her or the games. How am I supposed to choose? What should I do? Help.

It sounds like you’ve already made your choice. If on a regular basis you would rather play video games alone than do something fun with your girlfriend, why continue the relationship? Find someone that you want to spend time with on a regular basis and who shares your idea of how much time that should be (e.g., 1 hour a day, all day Saturday, or every night all night, etc.). Having distinct hobbies is healthy for any relationship. However, enjoying shared experiences is also vital. If you and your girlfriend do not take pleasure in any common interests (and I’m referring to more than physical intimacy), then what’s the point? -Rachel-

Dump her! Girls give people cooties. It’s science, look it up.  -Nick-
 

Games VS women? Be sure to weigh your options carefully.

Can a wife and husband play video games together?-Lovel

I always was the weird one. Instead of thinking of romantic dinners on a cruise I think of a never ending video-game marathon on my wii with my future hubby! I'm not married yet, nor do I have a boy friend but I think it would be cute to play video games with him. Personally I like video games too, but my friends keep making fun of me and say, "What are you getting married to, a six-year old?" Is it strange to play video games with ur hubby? is there anyone else out there that does?
 

Yes, they can. I do. Several of my married friends play video games together. It’s not weird at all to hope to share a hobby with your spouse. -Rachel-

It is super fun to play together- just think of all the ways a heated, sweaty wii battle can end… As to your friends, who cares? Better to be married to a fun geek having those heated moments of competition than a "mature" guy whose hobbies include arguing with fox news channel on tv and internet surfing… alone. -Katie-

Too cute

How can I get my get my stepson to put down the video games and get a job or continue with more education?-Anonymous

he's a high school grad, class of 04.and has no ambition to do anything except play video games or play online day after day? even met a girl friend online (but shes 1200 miles away)
.I think his mom doesn't care cause she doesn't want him to leave the nest! i hate to see him wasting his life away. maybe he should be a game programer?
 

Options:

a) Cut off Internet for the family. Everyone suffers but you just won the war. Boom! Now he has to leave the house.

b) Help him find what his talents are and find a place for him to use them.

c) You are the problem. Deal with yourself accordingly.

d) Give him $5000 and the boot or put him in the furthest state college (they are the same). That redhead should not be back for months.
I think it is most important for you to know that video games are not dead end careers however the world does not need any more awful programmers. -Nick-

Is my girlfriend a lesbian if she likes video games?-India

I'm worried she's a lesbian… she seems to really like video games, but that's a guy thing. Should I be worried? Should I go ahead and leave her right now just in case?
 

Dear India, Yeah you should be worried… But not that she is a lesbian. While you're sitting around thinking about something stupid like this she’s kicking your ass at (Insert game here). -Katie-

Wow, you’ve managed to stereotype just about everyone—homosexual, heterosexual, men, women–in one question! BREAKING NEWS: Not all lesbians and men like video games. You should leave her because you obviously do not appreciate the gem you’ve found. Be happy she likes video games! -Rachel-

Yes she certainly is a lady-lover however you should not break up with her. Dating a lesbian is a wonderful experience. Trust me on this one; I’ve been there. This is likely the only relationship you will have with a woman that gets down on other women. This is YOUR best chance to ever go 3-way.

(BTW, she may not be a lesbian. She is the perfect woman send her my way.) -Nick-

What do you think I meant?

Why do girls dislike guys who play even the LEAST bit of video games?-Doctor Death

You can be a cool guy not even obsessed with video games. You just get on your PS3 and Xbox 360 now and then for recreation. This, however, does not seem to make a difference to the majority of girls out there. If you have even a drop of "video gamer" on you, she'll give you the boot (she's not interested). Why is this? I want to know the mystery behind this.

DD, Some girls might run at the sight of the dusty XBOX in the corner because they fear you’ll care more for it than her. Others may fear you are a geeky-socially-stunted-not-sure-how-to-treat-a-girl type of person. However, a good number of girls either accept a video gaming hobby or enjoy playing themselves. You should pursue these women. Many women may have never played a video game before meeting you but are willing to try. After a month or so of dating, tell her you’d really like to share your hobby with her. Tell her you really like her and want to show her what interests you. Start with a very easy game that allows for multiple deaths without consequence. She may be interested in a role-playing game where she can design her own character. If the graphics are cute, that’s even better. Even if she’s not hooked, she shows promise as a great girlfriend if she’s willing to try something new and demonstrate interest in your hobbies. -Rachel-

No mystery here really, common sense. girls like attention, especially in the beginning of the relationship. Something that may work to get past the problem? Get out Viva Pinata~ cute, colorful, and interesting to girls. tell her how hot she is handling the controller and guys dig girls that know how to find their way around a joystick. And, is it possible its not that they are pushed away by the games but because you're a jerk? purposefully doing something "for a reaction" doesn't put you anywhere near a list of people she wants to get naked with. -Katie-

Dr. Cool Name, That “drop of video gamer” on you is actually human filth. I am speaking of you plaque covered chiclets and tremendous body odder from that 11 hour “recreational” game session. Take a shower and try not to scratch your balls when you talk to the ladies. -Nick-

Should I leave my girlfriend if she isn't good at video games?-Distrito Federal

I let her play Halo 3 with me and I kept winning against her. She's not good at video games and I want a challenge when I play. Should I leave her?

Yes. -Nick-

Meet the advisors:

Rachel was first introduced to video games via her older brother's addiction to Rampage on the family's Apple iie. Her favorite game at the moment is New Super Mario Brothers, but her ultimate time-sucker vice has been (and always will be) Baulder's Gate. She enjoys tuna, getting nightly back-scratches from her husband, and sewing.

Cindy is a mother of 3 and a stage producer in the North West. She rocks at strategy games, tea and enjoys the outdoors.