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I should have been writing this article. Instead, I started playing another game of Team Slayer in Halo: Reach.
"I'll do some writing in a little bit," I said to myself. "Besides, I don't have any good ideas right now." As if manhandling 14-year-old Spartans in team deathmatch would make my creative nectars flow any better.
Children playing Halo: my mortal enemies.
I want to be a freelance writer. It doesn't matter if I'm penning brochures, newsletters, ads, technical documents, or entertainment pieces: I just want to write and have someone pay me for it. I'm not the greatest wordsmith ever to open Microsoft Word, but I'm good enough make a career out of stringing sentences together.
If only my ambition matched my talent.
Right now, my life is in greater repose than it's been in a long time. I graduated from college, so I don't have papers to write or tests to study for. I have an easy part-time job that challenges my patience more than my mind (customer service, naturally). I'm still living at home, so I don't have many bills to pay. And now that my dad has died — you can read a bit about my strenuous relationship with him here — my house seems…relaxed.
My current lifestyle is a cozy hammock…and a dangerous siren song.
I'm reading a book called The Well-Fed Writer: Financial Self-Sufficiency as a Commercial Freelancer in Six Months or Less by Peter Bowerman, and it's making me think that freelance writing is a viable career choice. The problem is that I can't motivate myself to start.
I mean, I'm putting some of the freelance-writing wheels in motion — I'm creating a portfolio website, and I'm slowly building up my writing samples — but I feel like I'm using only half of my ass to do it.
Take this article, for example: It's taken me about three weeks to write, but it's not because I've lacked time. I'll write a few sentences, rearrange some words, take out an adjective or two, and then check Facebook. Or play a video game. Or watch TV. Or play my guitar.
Don't get me wrong. Taking a break from writing a piece can be the best thing for it. But creative pause and pure procrastination are distinct concepts. I doubt successful freelance writers spend 20 minutes working on a piece before booting up Final Fantasy 13.
"Hey Nick, stop working, and come listen to me spew hammy dialog!"
I'm not lazy; I'm the Zenyatta of work horses at my actual job. I can't, however, seem to bring that work ethic home. I need structure and deadlines, or I can't focus.
I know what you're thinking: Grow up. I realize that my current, easygoing lifestyle won't last. I have to start making big decisions about my future and my career. But damn, it's hard to do that when I've got so many video games to play, Facebook statuses to check, and z's to catch up on.
Is anyone else in a similar situation? Do you want to be a writer, but just can't seem to muster the motivation to become one? To those who are successful writers, do you have any advice? I like comments, so don't be shy.