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That's it. I'm done. I can't do it anymore. I'm through chasing a carrot on a stick. I have to abandon online multiplayer.

I play video games for three reasons, listed in order of importance: a great story; a chance to explore a lush, uncharted world; and the experience of controlling someone with abilities beyond my own. Arguably, you could tell me to shut up and go watch a movie if those first two points are what really matters. But you know what? Screw you. These are the aspects of video games that ensnare me like a man-sized Venus flytrap, and the interaction of these three keeps me from trying to burst free of the carnivorous plant's digestive tract. They make me blissfully accept my fate.

Online mulitplayer games generally do not offer the same enriching experiences. Why? Because online multiplayer, in one sense or another, is always about competition.

In and of itself, I see nothing wrong with competition. It teaches you new tactics, usually offers up new environments to explore, and ramps up the difficulty about as high as it can go. (I've never seen a bot with human-level skills.) For some people, this is one of the reasons why they love video games so much; it's thrill of the contest and the chance to better hone their skills. That's fine. To an extent, I enjoy that, too. Why else would I be playing online?

 

Theoretically, online multiplayer should really be a dalliance for me. I yearn for interesting storytelling and engaging, flawed characters. I should only be dabbling in exploring vast digital battlefields, not moving in, building a house, and fostering three illegitimate children.

So how did I get to the point where I play almost exclusively online?

I mostly blame League of Legends. For those of you out of the loop, LOL is a standalone Defense of the Ancients-style game that's free to play and incredibly addictive. Defense of of the Ancients is a popular mod of Warcraft 3 and has an entire community dedicated to it. For content junkies, League of Legends is like an open bar. Head to the League of Legends website if you'd like to learn more.

League of Legends is a deep, intricate game, with many play styles, champions, laning combos, item and ability builds, etc. It also features some surprisingly interesting lore, despite its devilishly simplistic exterior. I've been playing since the beta (around two years now), and I rarely go a week without at least one foray into its territory. It's mercilessly punishing for new players, but if you stick it out, it's engrossing. The gameplay can be amazingly frustrating, but it seeps into your brain like a drug and demands you play more until you're bloody and bruised.

The problems I have with LOL are twofold: Because of its powerful grasp on me, I'll play it at the expense of trying out new games. I still grab the releases that catch my eye, but they often languish on top of my TV for a few days before I even remember that I bought them. League of Legends always calls me back — its raspy command a faint sound at the back of my mind. That simply cannot stand. Too many adventures await me to be chained to one game.

Also — and this is the reason that MMOs turn my stomach — the community stinks. Oh, the community! You can probably apply this statement to the entirety of the Internet: I've never seen such a pathetic, bad-mannered, whiny group of self-important tossers in my whole life. One self-absorbed moron, who decides to dick around in the jungle while he lets his team die, can shatter a game that relies on teamwork. And let's not forget people who join a game and immediately quit, leaving the team a man down and at a disadvantage. We've also got the idiots who find it side-splittingly hilarious to die on purpose and then claim — quite profanely and in poor English — that it was everyone else's fault.

I'm sure most of us have experienced this distinct lack of netiquette while playing online, but I think the griefers playing LOL rival the smug, pretentious pricks playing World of Warcraft. These spineless 12-year-olds have negatively affected so many games, and you can't do anything but hope your team surrenders at the 20-minute mark. Then you get a new chance to roll the horribly unkind dice again. Some games are minimally impacted by this sort of stuff (e.g. Halo: Reach); at least a new round can start in a short amount of time.

More often than not I walk away from the PC enraged or disgusted. And that's not what gaming is about.

It can't go on. I have to turn my bewitched gaze away from my monitor and load up something else, no matter how addictive LOL might be….

I'll get to it right after this next game.

Originally posted on 8bitopinion.wordpress.com.