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Edmund McMillen does it again. After the super successful ode to Super Mario Brothers (Super Meat Boy), good ol' Ed (can I call you Ed, Mr. McMillen?) does it again; this time with his ode to The Legend of Zelda:
The Binding of Isaac
Brief History Lesson–cliff notes style (Do kids still use cliff notes? If not, Google it)! Class is now in session.
The Binding of Isaac is a story from the Old Testament where Abraham is told by God to sacrifice his son in order to prove his love. Abraham grabs his son, ties him to a rock, prepares to do in Isaac (prison shank style) when…HARK! AN ANGEL APPEARS (Spoiler alert)! The angel stops Abraham from sacrificing his son, saying that he (Abraham) has shown his loyalty to God and needs to put the knife DOWN. ASAP. Happy as shit, Abraham finds a goat and sacrifices him, instead. Everybody is happy, especially God, because he almost let that little prank go a bit too far.
You can thank my many years of Sunday School (Totally serious. I'm a church goer) and Wikipedia for the story.
CLASS DISMISSED.
The Binding of Isaac is present day, only switch out Abraham for an old lady dressed in a moo-moo.
Isaac overhears God speaking to his mother, and dives into the basement when she tries to come into his room and shank him in the face.
Thus, our cute, twisted, disgustingly awesome quest begins.
Isaac begins his quest crying, naked, and all alone in Basement 1 (B1). His only weapons are his wit, nimble fingers, bombs, and tears. You read correct: his tears. Isaac shoots globs of tears to thwart his enemies (emo kids rejoice) rather than a sword, circa The Legend of Zelda. This is where the simplicity stops and the un-ending possibilities of awesomeness begin!
Players can upgrade their tears through an unending number of power-ups! Unlock chests, defeat enemies and bosses to unlock items that help take Isaac to the next level. Hilariously cute/disgusting items like "Your brother Bobby" (aborted bro) or "Your sister Maggie" (aborted sissy) add extra firepower to your dungeon crawling journey. The half developed fetus' will float behind you, shooting extra tears until you either beat the game or die trying.
Snatch up "cube of meat", and the red cube will orbit around your big-headed body, deflecting enemies attacks. Snatch up multiple "cubes of meat" and something special happens. Only if you are lucky enough to have more than one cube of meat materialize.
Heaven and hell themed items also add hilarity: Make a pact with Lucifer (two heart containers per pact) to increase your speed and power, give you nine lives, and more! You will grow devil horns, turn shades of red, and even have a dead black cat follow you around.
Discover a crucifix, bibles, and other holy items to boost your stats as well.
With each item Isaac picks up, his appearance will change! Some of the other hilarious items are also some of the most disturbing: Moms wig, moms heels, moms lipstick…you see where this is going.
Eat mystery pills that are both beneficial and detrimental to your health, stats, and appearance. There are seemingly unlimited combinations, and since the game is randomly generated, you are never guaranteed the same play through twice.
I forgot to mention that this is a randomly generated dungeon crawler? Well, it is. Enemies, items, secret rooms–they change with every new game! The massive amounts of items, enemies, and awesome randomness make for an unbelievably deep game.
Speaking of enemies…
Flies, worms, eye-gouged zombies, headless bodies that spew globs of blood…that's only the first few levels. The deeper you venture, the stronger the enemies become. You initial reaction: Eww. Gross. Then: What is that, anyway? Then: Its kinda cute! Then: Screw this thing! Kill it!
Then you have the bosses!
The first wave of bosses include Monstro the cleft lip head, Larry Jr. the snapping intestines that…poop, and The Duke of Flies, a floating, fly spewing, stitched together….I have no clue in hell what The Duke of Flies is. He's just gross. Kill him. Oh, there are others, too. They love to piss on the floor, fling globs of mucus, and perform many other bodily functions. Its quite brilliant.
If you are strong enough to fight to the bottom of the basement…your mother awaits! If you can triumph over your mother, congratulations! There are over seven different endings to discover! So sack up, Isaac! You have more dungeon to explore! With each new play through, The Binding of Isaac adds a few extra levels. So, your first play through is 5 levels…then 8…then…we'll I've only been able to play through once so I don't know how many more levels are added.
I'm on my second play through and I must admit that the further down you travel the harder the game becomes. This game is great. Every time I hit start, the experience is fresh and fun, regardless of the outcome. The randomness of the levels, the hilarity of the items, the simple but effective story, it comes together for the best $4.95 that I've spent on a game in a long time.
Oh, and church-goers like myself, don't be turned off by the game's opening, there are some nice twists along the way. This roguelike journey is one for the ages. Enjoy. And may peace be with you!