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Is there anything as heart-warming as the latest Batman video-game revival? Not only are the games excellent, but they proved that licensed titles need not suffer from cynical marketing and B/C-team development. Licensed games can be good.
This immediately brings to mind other strong properties that have transitioned to video-game form…but to the general dissapointment of all. If given to the right team with a reasonable deadline and no obligation to slavishly recreate the source material in game form, these four licensed properties could be amazing:
The G.I. stands for "Guns" and "Idiocy." Sometimes "Identical Twins."
G.I. Joe
With this fall’s greatest battle raging between Battlefield 3 and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, may I suggest a new combatant? How about G.I. Joe? With so many modern-warfare first-person shooters arriving, why not one more starring a certain lisping Cobra Commander, possibly drawing additional inspiration from Team Fortress 2? My next sentence I will make a studio executive rich: “Picture a crazy and stupid Call of Duty with marketable characters and an existing fan base.” I’m about to make that lucky man richer: “Let’s turn the G.I. Joe arcade game into a first-person shooter.” Boom.
Previous entries: G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra was terrible. The arcade game was not.
Why it deserves a chance: Next year, for some reason (or 302 million reasons) another G.I Joe movie will come out…accompanied by a terrible game, no doubt. My challenge to the various parties creating the inevitable mess: Can that piece of shit and make the above described game. Release it a year after the movie. I have three words why this would work: Batman: Arkham Asylum.
I swear Discworld is funnier than this image suggests.
Discworld
Previous efforts: A handful of middling adventure games for the PC and PlayStation.
Why it deserves a chance: Unfortunately, Pratchett’s time on earth is limited. At 63 he is suffering from early onset Alzheimer's. He has been pretty frank about his own demise, even going as far as to film a documentary about assisted suicide. If 2005’s film version of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is any indication, a property can easily lose its way after the death of its creator and guiding force. Even if the master of satirical fantasy didn’t play a major role in the development of a new game, it would be disastrous to try to make one after his death.
Take this and fill it with people like me. Job done.
Harry Potter
Now that the book and movie franchises have both ended, we really need a proper Harry Potter game. Unlike the previous games, which were paired with the movies, we probably need to remove the universe’s single most important element: Harry Potter. Like Batman: Arkham Asylum, the franchise needs a competent developer who will focus on what makes the Harry Potter universe perfect for video games: magic, Hogwarts, and a menagerie’s worth of fantastical creatures. Finally getting video-game Quidditch right would be a bonus.
Previous efforts: A bunch of ho-hum video game tie-ins, the high points being Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix’s open-world Hogwarts and the overly cute but quite playable Lego Harry Potter: Years 1-4.
Why it deserves a chance: One not even real word: Pottermore. A few months ago, the world held its collective breath as a huge announcement came from J.K. Rowling herself, and we got…a website? Pottermore promises fans to matriculate at Hogwarts and explore Harry Potter’s world like never before. Do that, except in a video game — maybe even a massively multiplayer game — and you've got something to be really excited about.
Little known fact: Early versions of the Kermit puppet
could also stare into the depths of your soul.
The Muppets
I am a Muppet fan. I have a fascination with all puppets but the Muppets in particular. I love all of Jim Henson’s work: the Dark Crystal, Labyrinth, and yes, even the early Saturday Night Live sketches. Nothing, however, compares to the core Muppet franchise, which has been treated badly ever since the primetime show ended…a few funny YouTube videos not withstanding. This is due partly to the death of Jim Henson, who was slightly Steve Jobs-ian in how he ran his workshop, and partly due to the franchise's changing ownership through the 1990s. Between Gunstringer and Once Upon a Monster, we have learned that puppets and motion controls are a pretty good mix. The Muppets should be next.
Previous games: Some pretty shoddy efforts where the Muppets were squeezed into the archetypes du jour: platformers, mini-game collections, and even a kart racer.
Why it deserves a chance: With the Muppets struggling with relevance but showing huge potential with their viral videos, a video game could really do the franchise some favors. And who hasn't seen Once Upon a Monster and wished they something like that for adults? Let’s give the Muppets to Double Fine. They might not be able to recreate Jim Henson’s magic, but no one in the video-game industry is more prepared to do his legacy justice. And they're already taking a practice run with that Sesame Street game!