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Well, now that Game informer’s big reveal about Grand Theft Auto 5 is here, I have to admit that I’m considerably less jazzed about the game. I’m sure I’ll still play it, heck, I’m pretty sure the game will be a first day purchase for me. But all the details from the game that have been released/leaked so far point to something that just isn’t as special every entry in the series has been, at least as far as characterization goes. True, Tommy Vercetti wasn’t a deep, introspective character but his “revenge seeking mobster” role fit the scene of 80s Vice City perfectly.  More impressive were the characters of CJ in San Andreas and Niko in IV, characters that broke away from the (still existent) trend of having muscle-bound Caucasian men and provided unique storylines.

But after rereading GI’s piece, the overriding thought I have is disappointment at the prospect of more dudes as the protagonists of another Grand Theft Auto game.  Part of me was holding out for one of the protagonists to be a woman.

I’d say there was fair reason for me to hope for that. Both Grand Theft Auto 4 and Red Dead Redemption were fantastic exercises in throwing gamers’ expectations and desires back in their faces—as evident by reactions to each ending—and the Achilles' heel of Rockstar’s writing team has always been the way women are characterized in any of their games. This could have been the perfect opportunity for another “gotcha!”

Just think about it. How cool would it have been to finally see a strong female lead in a series that, up until that hypothetical point, gave their major female characters one of two purposes: to try and have sex with the protagonist (Mercedes in Vice City, CJ’s girlfriends, Niko’s girlfriends) or to rant against the patriarchy (Elizabeth Torres in IV)?  The minor female characters are simplistic, pedestrians, or prostitutes—the only prostitutes. There are no gigolos in any entry of Grand Theft Auto, at least none whose services you can purchase.

Even the jack-in-the box of crazy known as Saints Row: The Third manages to do a better job of equalizing the sexes. Yeah, yeah, there’s a mission where Viola DeWynter has to reluctantly wear a skimpy cosplay outfit but the flipside of that is there’s also a mission where you have to rescue a pimp from imprisonment beneath a BDSM club. When you get to him, he’s wearing a gimp outfit and tied to a cart. The sexuality on display here is degrading, yes, but it’s always for over the top and inflicted on both sexes. So, in at least one weird way, Saints Row: The Third is a little bit more mature than Grand Theft Auto.

Alas, it appears that GTAV is continuing with the tradition that Grand Theft Auto is a boy’s world and one that likes to flaunt its junk in your face, which is a shame, because video games need more female protagonists.

And I don’t mean just “strong female roles.” I’m not talking about John Marston’s headstrong, sassy wife, Abigail, or Elena Fisher, the witty journalist who knows how to use a gun. They’re well developed, sure, but still on the sidelines. I mean female characters with depth that you actually play as, like Jade from Beyond Good & Evil. We need those kinds of protagonists. ASAP. Not just for the sake of diversity but for storytelling. I became aware of this, when off the cuff, I decided to play as a female during my second playthrough of Mass Effect 2. That character became my Shepard. The one I will always associate Mass Effect with. Jennifer Hale’s voice acting is filled with passion, and the optional romance storylines are just flat out better than any of the dull ones available to the male Shepard (except Tali). For me, the female Commander Shepard is the true Shepard. Not the generic bald guy Bioware and EA threw up on the posters and box art for marketing purposes.

Seriously though, there are tons of female characters already in existence that would make viable protagonists in their own spin-offs. The aforementioned Elena Fisher would be a cool character to play, as would Ellie Langford (Dead Space 2), Nix (Infamous 2), and Alyx Vance (Half Life 2).  Personally, I would kill for a Metal Gear prequel starring The Boss.

That would be badass. And somber.