This post has not been edited by the GamesBeat staff. Opinions by GamesBeat community writers do not necessarily reflect those of the staff.
Note: This article contains actual posts from Xbox Live users and the responses from official Microsoft employees. No names were changed to protect anybody. Also, misspellings and grammatical errors were preserved as they are because it’s funnier that way.
Oh, boy. Microsoft is under fire once again, isn’t it? First there was the news that Xbox One users won’t be able to borrow, rent or buy used games for their console; then there was that thing about the new Xbox needing to redeem its Internet connection every 24 hours, or it will stop working.
And while Microsoft is still busy not being completely clear about these dilemmas, a response from Xbox Support — regarding a possible banning of your Xbox One account — has gone viral, stating that “if your account gets banned, you also forfeit the licenses to any games that have licenses tied to it.”
The biggest concern about this issue seems to be the possibility that you get banned by mistake, mostly because there are a lot of people over Xbox Live false complaining about online players out of spite. And now that there’s the possibility that some jerks could completely ruin your game collection, the stakes are higher than ever.
This issue reminds me about an article I wrote almost two years ago, when I brought over actual posts from Xbox Forums in order to mock up about some punks being “falsely” banned out of Xbox Live, and praise how the XBLPET — the Xbox Live Policy Enforcement Team — decided to answer some of those inquiries…with extreme prejudice.
One of the responses from BXLPET Quebec should address that issue about, “what if a bunch of kids complain about me because I’m so good at [insert any game here]?”
XBLPET Quebec: “So…just to repeat myself for bajillionth time (that’s a real number)…it doesn’t matter how many people complain about you. It all turns into one complaint that we review. What matters is that your profile was just slightly less offensive than the inside of a toilet stall in a gas station on the 5. Suspension stands.”
So I went back to the Xbox forums — because there’s so much fun on seeing those game-ruining cretins getting what they deserve — but for whatever reason, the XBLPETs are not funny anymore; now they just copy/paste their responses and highlighting the offense that got these people into trouble, look how boring it is now!
That’s not the way to respond to a complaining customer; it now looks like an automated response from a computer. In fact, how can anyone even tell the difference? How can the complainers know their message was actually read by a human being? And more importantly, how can we feel that justice is being properly served?!
So I went back and dug up a little deeper into those days and found a few more gems to share with all of you. Let’s remember one more time some of the main reasons why your account can get suspended or premabanned from the service. If you’ve ever lost your nerve playing with idiots or cheaters through Xbox Live, you won’t feel any kind of remorse while laughing at these guys misfortune. Enjoy!
Nothing beats being told EXACTLY the reason why they have been banned.
Alchemist54csg: “gt:Alchemist54csg i have been banned till 12/31/9999. So this is what happend i was playing call of duty world at war and i got into a infection lobby in multiplayer and when i left i had all of this stuff like all wepons god mode. i said to myself crap how do i get this off and i couldent think of anything and next thing i know is that i have been banned. but it wasnt my fault i was just playing mulitplayer and it happend so why should i get banned when i couldnt do anything about it. this is outragus. please respond back i need some answers.”
XBLPET Quebec: “Alchemist54csg was witnessed turning (( Peter Pan Mode [on] off )) in a no fly zone on Call of Duty: World At War. Suspension Stands.
You were issued a cheating suspension for engaging in inappropriate gameplay, system tampering, or obtaining an unfair advantage through an in-game exploit in violation of the Terms of Use.”
Or whatever the hell you call it…
My Account Got suspended Till 9999?
IXI Wesley IXI: “Hi, my account (IXI Wesley IXI) recently got permanantly suspended till 9999 because a friend apparently was messing with my peofile information while i wasnt in the room and changed it to innapropriot stuff. The next day i was playing contra and i got disconnected and when i tryed to re-connect it said “Suspended till 9999” So i quickly run to the phone sad as ever because i just renewed the subscription for 12 months of gold and reached about 27000 gamerscore. So on the phone they tell me to go on my hotmail and see what it says and after then post on the forums. So i pretty much covered what happend so heres what the email said on my hotmail. […]
I know my account is MY response abillity but why do i get suspended for so long just for crap that was put in my profile info?? And as you can see most of it is censored. I’m really dissapointed about this and dont want to switch to ps3 so check this out. And by reading other formus i know you probably dont care about my problem and will say “suspention stands as is” but it is clearly a mistake and i love xbox live and my xbox live 12M subscription that i just bought about a month ago and i had the account for nearly 3 years so please take time into this and realize that im a big xbox fan and i dont want to switch consoles just for this mistake! Contact me at [edited by moderator]”
XBLPET Quebec: “IXI Wesley IXI was witnessed turning ((Mary Poppins Mode [on] off)) in a no fly zone on COD:World at War. Suspension Stands.”
spidey1999’s mom or dad: “My son was banned on xboxlive spidey1999 he had a new friend over he met from school and now we were banned for some reason? His new friend is no longer aloud over to play games. If some could please help turn it back on we would kindly appreciate it. Thankyou! Kind Regards”
XBLPET Quebec: “Your son was banned for taking advantage of the “my skin is made of Kevlar” mod on CoD:WaW. While fun for him it is modding, and most importantly, it ruins the game for legitimate players. Sorry, but this is a permanent suspension.”
This is one of those long messages, right? (click on the link to read the complete post, or not)
My account has been suspended 2 times in 3 days.
GT iDriftSilvias: “Hi, My account ( GT iDriftSilvias ) has been suspended 2 times in 3 days. First one was for 2 days, second one is for 2 weeks.
I just put a year of live ona nd bought The Resurgence map pack for MW2, and Im not exactly rich so I cant afford the $60 in live and $20 in MSP.
I want to know why i was suspended. […]
I know my Youtube channel has “Modz” in it, but come on, its just a youtube channel. yes it has modding stuff on there, and if you watch it even a video of a Jtagged 360, but heres the ting. the JTag is banned, and it was when i got it, it has never gone online (by me anyways) I dont use any kind of mods online at all. I mod BANNED xbox 360 cases and fans to cool them better, that is IT. And i never put them online. I dont mod the software or the Motherboard either. […]
I am a Avid COD player and clan leader. I am a 10th prestige Level 70, and I cant afford to get my account or console banned anymore. Not that my console has ever been banned. I also am glad you guys got rid of all the Infections/ Modded lobbies on COD. I wont miss them at all, they were annoying as it gets.
Please and thanks, any help appretiated.”
XBLPET Juliet: “Your first suspension was for putting ‘Bitchz’ in your profile.
Your second was for posting a website to your profile that breaks the Code of Conduct.
Also, your your youtube profile contains the following:
About Me:
I mod consoles, controllers, gamerprofileds, gamwertags, gamerscores, gamer pictures, avatars, ETC”
WHY BAN ME FFS: “You are banning all my accounts,
My gamertags are:
Untitled
Surreal oBanning me for no reason this is a bloody joke sort your life out banning me for no reason i was in a party and you ban me i payed for membership aswell yesterday i want a refund today or i will take actions against this.”
XBLPET Juliet: “Well, considering both accounts were advertising this: “MTAF: JACKING ANY GAMERTAG FOR 1MONTH GOLD AND oG GAMERTAGS FOR A 3MONTH GOLD MESSAGE BACK IF YOU WANT IT”, it would seem we had a very valid reason to suspend these accounts.
These permanent suspensions will stand as issued. All content and licenses upon permanent suspension are forfeit.”
sparks75’s mom: “My son says he joined a random game in COD World at War and was booted from the game and now its saying the gamer tag is banned.
The gamer tag is sparks75”XBLPET Juliet: “He left out that he obtained infections (a kind of unauthorized modification or hack) and then proceeded to purposefully and actively exploit those infections in a game. He was permanently suspended for using hacks/cheats/mods.”
The only real victims here are those good Gamertags now lost forever…
Can I get my Xbox live banned GamerTag account back?
Winning Jesus: “The account that is banned, it’s Gamertag is Winning Jesus
The current Gamertag I have and want to change, my Gamertag is Winning G0D and I want to change it to Winning Jesus.
Thanks if I can!”XBLPET Quebec: “You can’t. When an account is banned the Gamertag goes to Gamertag Heaven. Shouldn’t you know this being Winning G0D and all? Just another reason to not get permabanned for cheating.”
HighQualityHam: “hello my gamer tag is HighQualityHam and i was just recently banned. i joined a game lobby on World at War, and then my xbox froze. i turned it back on and as soon as i logged in it said i was banned for 12/31/9999. i was very upset with this because i had everything on that account. i really would like it if u unbanned me so i can continue in the live of xbox live. i really think you guys can work this out. Thanks”
XBLPET Quebec: “Sadly HighQualityHam was suspended for cheating, as they were witnessed LITERALLY… making pigs fly in COD:World at War. Another awesome gamertag bites the dust for a few thrills. G.J..”
ive beened suspended untill THE END OF EARTH
extra hard: “my gamertag is extra hard i didnt do anything why did you decide to ban me after i just reedeemed 1600 microsoft points”
XBLPET Quebec: “Huh… Well “extra hard” was banned for modding lobbies for 1600 points. It saddens me that a good gamertag was lost today…”
This is a strangely popular way to get banned: people tampering the available colors of their avatars.
ant 8693: “My account ant 8693 got suspended & i wasn’t even online for the last 3 to 5 days”
XBLPET Golf: “Apologies, but you needn’t be connected to LIVE to see that your avatar has been modified to be bright red.”
supererazzer: “all my achievements are real”
XBLPET Golf: “And your avatar is real purple.”
x MagicEy3z x: “I really want to know why my account was suspended for life. I never modded or anything like my old gamer tag is ” x MagicEy3z x ”. So please reply to why i was suspended”
XBLPET Golf: “For an account that has never been modified, the avatar is rather magenta.”
Pcruzl: “banned gor gamerscore i have had this for a while really stupid they should just remove my gamerscore and call me a cheater”
XBLPET Quebec: “I don’t know what you’re asking. But either way, why would I hit you for modded Gamerscore when I can Permaban you for having a modded avatar?
So yeah… you were, just now, hit for a modded avatar.”
And you would think that Xbox Support doesn’t have any personal reasons to ban some people, but then…
x3P1C 5C0P35x: “i was playing xbox and it said i was banned and i dont mod i didnt break any rules and if u can lift it my gamertag is x3P1C 5C0P35x”
XBLPET Quebec: “XboxLive doesn’t have the Smurfs blue skin color license yet as far as I know, so I’m going to say you were hit for a modded avatar.”
Applaudd: “Can you please tell me the reason for banning Applaudd, i’m unsure”
XBLPET Quebec: “Oompa Loompa’s are NOT allowed on Xbox Live. Call me a racist if you want… but they’re just like Smurfs… once you get them, you can’t get rid of them. Do you know much this costs us per week in mousetraps and Smurfberries?! They’re out of Season!
…
Account Tampering”
Above: Your kind is not welcome here.
In the end, while there are still some serious concerns about the new Microsoft console (which remains to be seen if there’s a huge flop or bussiness strategy), being falsely banned shouldn’t be a thing to be concerned about; there’s record about accounts being falsely banned in the past, but Microsoft had also accurately responded to those and even compensate them for the trouble.
So, if you’re not thinking about tampering with your console, trying to smart out Xbox’s policies, or failing as a human being while playing online games: don’t buy the Xbox One, it is definitely not the console for you.