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It’s always hard telling a girl you’re into video games. Is it my hobby? Guilty-pleasure? My obsession? Being a self-proclaimed “gamer” isn’t going to win over any hearts – especially if you’re a dude. When it comes to dating, being a gamer is practically like etching a scarlet letter across your chest.
This is an awesome way to get laid – I mean, raid.
The girl I’m dating hates video games. She despises them. She gives me disconcerting looks every time I bust out my 3DS whenever I’m around her. I’m not neglectful at all; in fact I try to spend as much time with her as possible. I’m juggling 30-hour workweeks at a frozen yogurt shop, writing in my spare time, and trying to finish the pile of novels I’ve been putting away for months. I need “me” time too.
It’s strange when my paradigm of life revolves around geekery and gaming and she doesn’t understand why. I’ll make a Pokémon reference here, a Star Wars reference there – and she tilts her head in confusion.
Am I finding love in Alderaan places?
And the only thing I want is for her to enjoy gaming – even if it’s just a miniscule amount. It’s not too much to ask, right?
But believe me, I’ve tried to wean her into my world. The first time I introduced her to New Super Mario Bros. U, she plummeted straight to her death – over, and over, and over again. Not once did I lose my patience or put her down, instead I encouraged and reassured her that it’s ok – we all started somewhere. I expected her to gain a little confidence and push through, but she just dropped the controller and threw her hands in the air…like she just didn’t care.
She’s told me that she’s never really played video games growing up. That’s understandable.
But it’s disheartening when I’ve told her what my dreams were. I told her I was going to turn this into a career. The reaction I got was of wonder and concern. It seems like she respects my love of the art, but doesn’t understand why. It’s honestly discouraging. I’ve shown her the blogs I’ve posted. Some of them have been front-paged on VentureBeat – which is a huge deal to me. She’s read them, but it’s almost like a foreign language to her.
Recently, I had a long-winded conversation with her about video games. I told her that video games aren’t just time-wasters – they’re an art form. I told her about my intrinsic affection toward this form of entertainment – from the music composed to the compelling characters and storylines. I even showed her the first 10 minutes of the Last of Us to show her the impact a video game can make. She still didn’t understand why these bleeps and bloops mean so much to me.
The worst part is that this isn’t the first time gaming came in between my love life. When Borderlands 2 came out, I’d spend time at my ex’s raiding Pandora while she studied in the other room. Another ex didn’t appreciate the TV glare and CoD sessions during the late night. It’s almost as if I had to choose between one or the other.
I know you’re thinking that I should just end my apparent misery. But I can’t – I won’t. To get and keep what you want takes sacrifice – the same holds true for the relationships you make (friend, brother, girlfriend, dog, etc.). If you don’t sacrifice, no one will sacrifice for you; that’s just a law of life.
It’s just a huge pill to swallow if I ever had to give up something I love. Until then, I’ll continue juggling until I drop something eventually.