You love gaming and your girlfriend does too. She just doesn’t know it yet.

At some point, our attention is wrenched away from our beloved video games by the demand of our designated female partner. But don’t count your chickens just yet – she’s merely a dormant Stage One gamer, itching to be beckoned towards the virtual light of the gamerverse. She just doesn’t know it yet.

I was lucky it seems. My girlfriend was primed for gaming from an early age it seems. I’m talking 2001’s Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone.

She even loved the game more than the films or books. Her inner hardcore gamer awakened by the humming of the Golden Snitch.

Franchise video games are notoriously terrible. But there are definitely some gems and can serve as a good way in. Spiderman, Lego, Bug’s Life and, evidently, Harry Potter. If played in childhood, the seed may just need watering.

Getting your girlfriend gaming comes in four stages. Although you may experience skipping, stalling and reverting to and from particular stages.

Stage One: Disinterest

It’s not happening. Hacking at zombies is a pretty manly thing and she’s more of a Sandra Bullock saving the day by being sassy kind of gal. Well guess what. There are Sandra Bullock video game equivalents. Neigh! Sandra superiors!

It seems she has no interesting in gaming. False. She does, she just doesn’t know it yet. But she’s about to…

Stage Two: Spectatorship

Is it…happening? She’s had a long day and so have you. She unwinds by reading a book; you by exploring the sky city of Columbia. But you catch her glimpse over the top the page, almost hypnotised by a far more entertaining story.

The sky city of Columbia featured in BioShock: Infinite.

She’s not watching you play because she’s bored. She’s watching because she finds it interesting and it looks fun. The trick is to play a game that you think will interest her. For example, if she likes horses (as many do) ride a stallion through the plains of Red Dead Redemption. If she likes exotic islands and beautiful, vibrant landscapes try Assassin’s Creed, or even GTA V. My point is, there are so many different games out there, many with powerfully compelling narratives, so it won’t be difficult to pick a good’un.

More importantly, play interestingly. Provide comedic commentary for her. Make her laugh. Make it like a movie for her. Soon enough, she’ll be cracking jokes alongside you and might even want to try…

Stage Three: Dipping a Toe

“No reason to hide, climb all the way inside. I’ma take you for a ride.”

It’s happening. There’s nothing exclusively male about exploring a brand new world of adventure and mystery. Discovering a paradise plagued by dark events first-hand.

Borderlands 2 is good, but there’s a sense of something missing that you cannot shake. Offer her a controller. Your good one. Let her know that giving it a go and playing with you is a big deal to you. Hopefully she has watched enough of you playing at this point for her curiosity to evolve into application. Enough for her to at least dip a toe in the waters of gaming.

My advice would be not to underestimate her tastes. A FPS like Borderlands 2 might seem off the table to begin with, but those games often have a strong narrative element and a good sense of humour about them. Not to mention, they are very attractively designed with vibrant colours and off-beat artistic styles.

Above all, consider gaming together as quality time. Gaming then becomes an activity you both enjoy doing together, which will ultimately strengthen your relationship by working together to navigate challenging situations. Situations you’re both faced with in video games will require trust, compromise, belief in each other. Video games also have the added benefit of not being interrupted by talking, as a film would be.

Don’t forget, a FPS pre-requisite of short reaction times can be intimidating to first timers. Playing co-op, remember you are her bodyguard, her hero. You have been extensively trained in the field, so protect her and save her from the enemy’s cold, evil clasp. Oh, and be generous with your loot also. Okay…you can keep the super-blowy-uppy-WA-POWY-dual-wielding mini-gun for yourself. It demands a professional’s hand after all. But it might not be yours for long. Not if you ascend to Stage Four. Sounding too cultish?

Stage Four: Full Nerd

It’s happened. You’ve arrived home and your girlfriend is covered in Wotsits crumbs, now a higher level than even you. AND IN HER OWN SAVE FILE. You’re so proud. But also jealous.

She’s no longer ploughing through the main storyline to rush to the end. She’s exploring every crevice, lock picking every treasure chest and diligently working through every side quest to absorb everything the game has to offer. Ambitions of a platinum trophy are even verging on the horizon

Since ushering my girlfriend’s hand through the mist of gaming stereotypes, she now has completed save files for Fallout, Borderlands, Skyrim, Beyond: Two Souls and that really isn’t all.

Winger Speech

The truth is, it’s not even about grooming your partner. For the most part, these stages occur naturally. I just think it’s a shame that video games almost belong to a gender stereotype. It prohibits females from even giving video games a second thought, disinterestedly fobbing them off as a male would passing a nail salon. Games are awesome and vast and can be enjoyed by anybody. So, ma’am, if you’re reading this, you owe it to yourself and your gender to give it a try. You might just love it.

WARNING:

You may experience shame as your girlfriend surpasses you in ability and kicks your butt at Tekken. Especially if she’s not even button bashing.

If you experience the above symptom, please do not stop playing. This is what you wanted. Step back and enjoy it.