I've been sitting in my modest (read: tiny) Japanese apartment and watching the events unfold at E3 from across the Pacific. The news, thus far, has not been good.
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If you are reading this right now, E3 is not for you.* E3 is a media event aimed at the general public. It's a glitzy collection of presentations designed to make Joe Consumer pay attention to video games. You can chuckle at your animated GIFs of the presenters all you want, but rest assured whoever you're laughing at isn't losing any sleep over a NeoGAF thread.
Microsoft seems to be the subject of the most derision right now. While there are good reasons to be skeptical about Kinect (the unstated price tag, the "Wii-too" software lineup), these are questions that Microsoft doesn't have to answer today. Or tomorrow. Or even this summer. That Cirque du Soleil wonderfest and subsequent flailing-heavy press conference were designed to tell the world that, hey, Microsoft is making games now that don't require a controller.
Look who broke the story on the official name of the device: USA Today, the newspaper that finds its way into millions of hotel rooms. Weary business travelers wearing their bathrobes are now aware of Microsoft's new technology. That is, for now, a victory. Whether anyone actually buys the hardware this November, that remains to be seen.
Depending on who you ask, Sony either delivered lots of new game announcements or droned on about 3D gaming and their own motion controller. Again, to all those who are miffed by no Last Guardian or whatever, tough break. Local newscasters in Omaha don't care about a boy and his giant rat. They care about footage of E3 attendees wearing 3D glasses.
Nintendo, as usual, gets it. Despite accusations to the contrary (particularly in 2008), the company has been on a steady roll in delivering the news people want to hear. This year Nintendo debuted a new handheld device (people love those) that delivers 3D visuals (people love those too). They also featured virtual swordfighting, archery, sports games, James Bond, and even Mickey Mouse (!) on stage.
So please, no more complaints about things you didn't see or news you didn't read. And I beg you, do not try and convince the Internet that any company "won" E3. Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo all hit home runs this week as far as the general public is concerned. The odds of any one of these billion-dollar corporations struggling to move products this year is extremely slim.
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You want to talk about losing? Let's talk about us as trod-upon customers dealing with escalating DLC costs, intrusive DRM, the EA Online Pass, platform-exclusive content on multiplatform titles, PlayStation Plus, and Nintendo's consumer-unfriendly online network. We're all going to be dealing with those issues in the future…and that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.
*Unless you are my mother. Hi, Mom! Still considering buying a Wii?
Daniel Feit was born in New York but now lives in Japan, where he teaches English to Japanese children and writes for Wired Game|Life & Film Junk. Follow him on Twitter @feitclub or visit his website, feitclub.com