Goat Simulator: How to beat all quests, find all trophies, and unlock all Achievements

Samir Torres June 17, 2014 12:35 PM

The goat that won't die, in the simulator that won't end.

Image Credit: Samir Torres/GamesBeat

Goat Simulator is one of the most ridiculous, unnecessary, and buggy games ever released — yet it is mindlessly entertaining, addicting, and surprisingly tough to master.

While the game lacks any sort of story mode, level progression, or boss fights since you’re, you know … a goat, it does offer peculiar quests, hidden collectibles, and kooky Achievements to unlock.

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Each map has different quests and Achievements. Some of them are really tricky, so we’re providing tips and strategies to beat them all, including the location of all golden goat statues.

Goat Ville:
Quests
Golden Goat Trophies
Achievements

Goat City Bay:
Quests
Golden Goat Trophies
Achievements

Goat Ville quests

Completing quests bags you points to help you beat your friends’ score on the leaderboards. I guess licking garbage and climbing random objects alone isn’t going to cut it.

You can tackle them in any order.

Jumping: Jump over an obstacle

Jump over anything. A fence, a watermelon — whatever.

Baa: Baa three times

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Press 1 to “baa” three times. Easy.

Michael Bay: Blow up the gas station

Headbutt any of the gas pumps.

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Car Accident: Get hit by a car

Stand in front of a moving car. Simple.

Hunt: Scare the shit out of 5 people

Headbutt five people.

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Knocking: Knock an object 100 (easy), 250 (normal), and 500 (hard) meters

Grab a basketball with your tongue and place it in the middle of the street. Wait for a car to drive by and headbutt the ball into the front of the vehicle. The ball should bounce off far enough to complete all Knocking quests in one go.

Flipping: Perform a successful 360 (easy), 720 (normal), and 1080 (hard) degree front or back flip

Hop on a trampoline or mattress. Hold the jump key to go higher and do a bunch of spins. Just make sure to land on your feet and not your head. You can complete all Flipping quests this way.

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Biggest Combo: Get a combo score of 1,000 (easy), 4,000 (normal), and 10,000 (hard) points

Go inside the Coffee Stain Studios house and headbutt or kick as many objects as you can for as long as possible to get a high multiplier. You can complete all “combo” quests this way.

Total Score: Get a total score of 20,000 (easy), 50,000 (normal), and 2,000,000 (hard)

You’ll complete these quests eventually as you explore the map and destroy stuff. But if you want to speed things up, use the Angel Goat, jump on a trampoline, and spin around like a maniac as you hover. You’ll get an insane amount of points when you land.

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Trash Goathenge: Knock out all of tall stones

Find Stonehenge and knock down every rock. This will also unlock the What is its purpose? Achievement.

Goat Castle: Proclaim yourself king of all goats!

Climb the goat tower (close to where you spawn) and walk inside the highest doorway. This will also unlock the Finally Achievement.

Ritual: Sacrifice for a greater purpose

Once you complete the Goat Castle quest, you acquire the power to summon servants. Find a red pentagram at the top of a mountain (near the Coffee Stain Studios house). Stand on it, press R a few times, and embrace the horror. This will also unlock the Devil Goat Achievement.

Airtime: Be airborne for 6 (easy), 9 (normal), and 18 (hard) seconds

First, complete Goat Castle and Ritual quests. Activate your demonic power (press R), then jump and toggle ragdoll mode (press Q). Your goat will go berserk and fly around uncontrollably. Remain airborne long enough to complete the quest. This works for all Airtime quests.

Airheight: Reach a height of 5 (easy), 50 (normal), and 120 (hard) meters in the air

First, complete Goat Castle and Ritual quests. Activate your demonic power and then jump and toggle ragdoll mode (press Q). Your goat will go berserk and fly around uncontrollably. Remain airborne long enough to complete the quest.

Wall Run: Run up a wall for 3 seconds (easy), 6 seconds (normal), and 10 seconds (hard)

Get a running start and jump towards a wall to start climbing for as long as possible. Try running straight up, then turn sideways, then down without stopping.

Manual Points: Walk on your front legs and score 1,000 points (easy), 2,000 points (normal), and 3,000 points (hard)

Pull off a manual (tap S while walking forward) and move forward. Activate slow-mo if you’re having trouble.

Bicycle: Ride a bike

Find a bicycle and press R to ride it.

Goat Ville:
Golden Goat Trophies
Achievements

Goat Ville trophies

The final quest of the standard map requires you to find 30 golden goat trophies. You’ll spot many of them simply by exploring the map, but others are a bit harder to acquire. When you see one, simply walk over it to grab it.

Collecting trophies will unlock new skins for your quadrupedal beast, like the “feather goat,” which turns you into an ostrich that can glide when airborne. Makes sense. …

Click the images below to make them larger.

On the first opening of the goat tower.

On top of a crate inside the goat castle.

On top of a power tower, near the goat tower. To reach it, jump on a vent and activate ragdoll mode before getting flung into the air. Then activate slow-mo and steer your goat towards the trophy.

Inside a white house next to the gas station, a golden goat is in a bedroom on the second floor.

Inside a garage at the gas station.

On the scaffolding above the control room in the Low Gravity Testing Facility. You may need a small boost from the jetpack (press R while wearing them), which is on one of the highest floors of the construction site building.

In a vent inside Low Gravity Testing Facility. In the room with large fans on the floor, hover over the open space with a small fan. The air current is strong, so getting the trophy may require multiple attempts.

On the roof of the Low Gravity Testing Facility. To get up here, enter the vent in the room with large fans on the floor. The spinning blades will knock you off the roof, so be careful. Activate slow-mo (press F) if necessary.

Under a lone tree in the middle of a grassy field.

At the edge of a big pit on the ground, close to the drifting car.

Near a harvesting machine.

Next to an outhouse. It’s close to the crop circles.

Near the fight club.

On top of a shack and across the road from the protesters.

On a power line. Get a boost from one of the fans on top of the small shack where you got the previous trophy.

Click here for the rest of the Goat Ville trophies.

Goat Ville trophies (continued)

Behind the protesters’ platform.

Below a power tower near the pentagram.

Behind a big, round boulder near the pentagram.

On a desk inside a small office on the second floor of the Coffee Stain Studios house.

On the roof of the Coffee Stain Studios house.

Inside one of the greenhouses.

On a tree branch, near the people having a party. Jump from branch to branch to reach the trophy. Using the Angel Goat (stand still for five minutes to unlock it) makes those tricky jumps easier.

Behind a small shack that’s on the parking lot of the school.

On top of the pool’s diving platform.

Under the tall water slide. It’s close to the previous trophy.

Under the school’s bell.

Inside a blue container on the construction site.

On a platform at the top of the construction site.

Inside a container suspended by a crane. Use a mattress at the top of the construction site to reach it. The robot will try to knock you off, so be ready to headbutt it.

With the Angel Goat, jump on the trampoline at the top of the construction site a bunch of times while ragdolling. You’ll eventually reach high enough to get on the crane. Grabbing this trophy also unlocks the Goat of the hill Achievement.

Goat Ville:
Quests
Achievements

Goat Ville Achievements

The standard map of Goat Simulator has 21 Achievements to unlock. They are as pointless as the game itself, so of course you’ll want to complete them all.

Here they are, in no particular order.

Angel Goat

Don’t harm anyone or destroy property for 5 minutes.

Involuntary QA

Press the tilde key to open the console, type “beginBVT” without the quotations, and press Enter.

Cardio kills your gains

Drop a human on a treadmill. The house near the spawn area has one in the garage.

LOEK master

Use the trampoline to get to the tree house near where you spawn. Look for a statue of a monster and lick it.

Pedestrian

Find the Walker statue in a room on the second floor of the house near the spawn area and lick it.

Trying to bring forth Sanctum 3?

Bring the statues from the LOEK master and Pedestrian Achievements to the pentagram in the mountain. You’ll also need to drag the robot hidden inside the container held up by the crane on the construction site. Once all three items are on the pentagram, something horrible will happen to your goat.

Finally

Climb the goat tower (close to where you spawn) and walk inside the highest doorway. Once in the castle, jump on the throne.

Goat Queen

As the Angel Goat, climb the goat tower (close to where you spawn) and walk inside the highest doorway. Once in the castle, jump on the throne.

Devil Goat

Alexander Goatstafsson

Locate the blood ring in the grassy field. Knock all the goats out of the circle to win. It doesn’t matter if you get knocked out. Stand up and keep fighting.

What is its purpose?

Find Stonehenge and knock down every rock.

Click here for the rest of Goat Ville’s Achievements.

Goat Ville Achievements (continued)

The Flapmaster

Go to the second floor of the Coffee Stain Studios house and look for a big screen TV. Stand in front of it and press R to play. Score 10 points.

I can’t believe that worked

Perform 10 front flips — without ragdolling — and land on your feet. It’s easy to do on a trampoline with the Angel Goat. Press R to hover.

Boulder of Death

Push the big boulder in the mountain toward the party below.

Dodge This

Drag the big boulder with your tongue and drop it in front of the drifting car, making it explode.

Mattress Madness

Bounce on the mattresses at the construction site 100 times in 30 seconds. Controlling your goat becomes harder as you bounce faster and faster, so activate slow-mo.

Around the World on 5 Trampolines

Bounce off once on every trampoline of the map in one jump. Climb the crane and jump on the trampoline at the top of the construction site, ragdolling before hitting it. Then bounce toward the two trampolines in the pool, then the one near the houses, and finally the one near the spawn area.

Goat of the hill

Reach the top of the crane. You can jump insanely high ragdolling on a trampoline with the Angel Goat.

Mile High Club

Lick the hang glider. To reach it, climb the crane and jump on it as it passes by.

Rymdskepp i Rymden

Go into the garage with the treadmill and look for a piece of bacon. Lick it and take it to the crop circle in the field. Wait there a while and a UFO will take you into space.

Click to enlarge.

Try Hard

Get all 30 golden goat trophies. Click here to find them.

Goat Ville:
Quests
Golden Goat Trophies
Achievements

Goat City Bay quests

This DLC map introduces new elements like swimming — if you can call it that — as well as new unlockable skins for your goat.

Hop around and explore the environment a while before worrying about quests or Achievements.

Already familiar with the new territory? Good. Let’s begin …

Build 10/100/1,000 blocks

Find and touch a Minecraft block to turn into Builder Goat. Then press R to place a block on the ground. You can stand still and spam the R key until these three quests unlock, but the game will start lagging. We suggest moving around the map as you build.

Find the sewer

Jump in the water and swim into the open pipe.

Hijack the concert

Reach the roof of the Put-In Hotel and touch Deadmou5, the DJ.

Buy a hat

Lick one of the many stacks of cash laying around and bring it to the Weathers shop and then touch any of the hats.

Try some ‘shrooms

Lick one of the many mushrooms scattered around the map. Watch out for side effects.

Hyped up

Enter the house with the swimming pool and look for a dinner table with “sugar” on it. Lick it and your goat will get high for a few seconds. During this rush, find the boat with a man inside near the Put-In Hotel and jump on it.

Goat Rider

Jump on the mechanical bull in Cabrito Park.

Longboard

Find a longboard and ride it by pressing R.

Grapple something: With great power…

Once you unlock Uncle Goat, jump and press R to extend your tongue and swing from buildings.

Race: Compete in a race

Currently broken, apparently.

Manual 3 times in a combo

Currently broken, apparently.

Collect all the trophies

Find all Golden Goat Trophies in Goat City Bay. Click here for their location.

Goat City Bay Achievements

This new map brings even more insane tasks for your goat to complete. From building structures with Minecraft blocks to doing blow. We’re not kidding.

Stand by for Goatfall

Get a running start and jump towards a wall to start climbing. You’ll need to stay on the wall for at least 10 seconds, which can be tricky. Try running up, then sideways, and then down without stopping.

Flip-kick

Kick something in the air, like a person or a street light, while doing a backflip. You must land on your feet.

Maximum MLG Big Plays

Lick a bucket and fling it toward a person.

Powerhoof SMASH

Kick a person into a car, making it explode.

Demogoat

Have 10 gas canisters explode at the same time. This makeshift shack has plenty of them inside.

Here’s Johnny!

Find an ax and lick it.

The mage’s favorite

Lick one of the many stacks of cash laying around and bring it to the Weathers shop’s register and then touch a wizard’s hat. Now find a bunch of people hanging around a fire in an alley. Set yourself on fire and then touch everyone.

Tony Goat

Walk on your front legs (tap S while walking forward) until you reach 3,000 points. Activate slow-mo if you’re having trouble with this.

The savage

Locate the three windmills and climb the one in the middle. On top of it sits a tornado-like statue. Lick it and bring it to the stone altar.

Goats ‘n’ stuff

Reach the roof of the Put-In Hotel and touch Deadmou5, the DJ.

Disgusting

Jump in the water and swim into the open pipe.

Click here for the rest of Goat City Bay’s Achievements.

Goat City Bay Achievements (continued)

Don’t panic

Reach the pool behind the Put-In Hotel and lick a towel with the number 42 on it. Bring it to the crashed UFO next to the dam and press R.

Colombian Sugar Lord

Builder goat

Find all three Minecraft blocks — dirt (under a tree, near the slide at Cabrito Park), wood (on the grass, near the longboard halfpipe), and stone (at the graveyard).

GoatBuilt

Get on top of the parkour obstacle course.

Hat Simulator

Bring six stacks of cash to the Weathers store and purchase all six kinds of hats.

A story about my elevator

Get up on the skyscraper without using the elevator. Walk on the whale behind the Put-In Hotel and have it toss you all the way up the building’s roof.

Ling Ling into battle go

Go into the sewers and fight the turtles.

One ball

Ride a bike without falling off for 60 seconds and then dismount.

Neckbeard

Once you acquire the Repulsive Goat, go into Weathers and purchase a fedora.

Vegas, baby

Go into the second floor of a white house and look for a peach-colored room. Touch the “Jack pot.”

Is that a goat?

Find six car batteries and place them on the motor next to the roller coaster’s elevator. Once they’re set, go up and lick the roller-coaster train.

I freaking love goats

Find all of the collectibles. Click here for their location.

Goat City Bay Golden Goat Trophies

A new map means more Golden Goat Trophies to find. These little statues now float up and down, making them slightly easier to spot, but you’ll still need to examine every inch of Goat City Bay to acquire them all. Or better yet, just use this guide.