Fallout 4 is a wonderful game. But it is also silly, and I discovered that when I accidentally re-created the 1989 morbid comedy Weekend at Bernie’s with one of the game’s characters.
Weekend At Bernie’s is about a pair of guys who go to stay with their boss, Bernie, for the weekend. Only Bernie dies, and since the guys want to enjoy their weekend, they don’t call 911 or anything. Instead, they prop up Bernie’s corpse in various situations so that they can still have fun at his awesome beach home.
This is where Fallout 4 and a character known as Mama Murphy comes in. Let’s just say I may have accidentally killed her or let her die or something. I don’t know. It’s the wasteland — I don’t think manslaughter is a crime anymore. But I loved Mama Murphy, and I wasn’t going to let her party end!
Welcome to Weekend at Mama Murphy’s!
My bond with Mama Murphy was first cemented when I built her a chair and plopped her ass down in front of the television. After that, I never heard any complaints from her outside of the pleas for more drugs. So when she finally kicked it, my first instinct was to return her to her natural state.
Above: Mama Murphy loves this show!
Next, I decided to take her over to Jangles the Moon Monkey’s place so we could chill. They didn’t have much to say, but they shared a Jazz cigarette and enjoyed sitting in chairs.
Above: Jangles is Mama Murphy’s dog.
Man, things always get out of hand when Mama Murphy zones out with Jangles.
Above: Mama Murphy knows how to show a chair a good time.
After hanging with Mr. Jangles, Mama Murphy wanted to get lit. After ordering some drinks, she climbed up on the pool table to dance. It was a horrifying sight.
Then Mama Murphy had to pee, so she ran into the book store to use its bathroom. Like any decent person, she acted like she was going to buy a magazine on the way out.
Above: She doesn’t miss an issue of “High Times.”
We only got two feet out of Barnes & Nobles before Mama Murphy started getting sick everywhere. Like the good friends they are, everyone from Sanctuary Hills just stared at her while she did her business.
Above: Party girl!
After making some room, Mama Murphy told me all her recipe for “Cream of Mama Murphy” soup. It sounded disgusting, but I’m up for anything.
That was a mistake.
Above: Mama Murphy’s secret ingredient is “love.” Which is way creepier in action.
Clearly, Mama Murphy is having a hard time handling this party weekend, so I made the hard decision to end our time together. But I wasn’t going to throw her into some ditch like an animal or one of those faux-human synthies. Instead, we treated her right and held a really respectful service.
That’s right, we set her on fire as she sat on a toilet and sparks flew into the air:
Goodbye, Mama Murphy. You’ve left a chem-addicted hole in my heart.