OK. These two are punches. These two are kicks. You want these four mostly.
Wait, wait. These two are punches?
No, this is a punch, and this is a punch. This is a kick–
Wait, wait. Put your finger on it. Punch, punch?
Yeah.
Kick, kick?
No, no, OK. Punch, punch.
Kick, kick. What are these two?
This is block. This is to use things in the level. Don’t worry about that one too much. This is to grab people, throw people. L2, don’t worry about it. Mostly focus on these four.
Alrighty. This moves? Ooh!
That moves you, see? Left, right, jump around. There you go. You already hit me. There’s a method that new people like called button-mashing, where they just push the buttons and hope for the best. I think that would be your best strategy here.
Above: Warning: not an in-game screenshot.
How’d I get the sword?
I don’t know.
Wow. I’m pretty good at this.
All right. Now I’m going to fight back.
Oh, you’re not fighting back?
Well, I’ve been letting you get the hang of it.
Oh. I’m not doing good now. Aww!
I did the get-over-here. Do you see all the blood?
Yeah.
Oh, there you go.
Whew, I did a backflip. Not doing too good now. Uh, oh. [I use an X-ray move on her.] I’m dead. Am I dead?
Well, how dead do you look? Your spine just crashed. You want to do a move like that? Here, I’ll show you how to do a move like that. Push these two buttons at the same time, on the bottom right. The bottom right two. Oh, shoot. I had to be closer to you. You used it up. I have to hit you. You can’t use that one now. Mom, you’re just hitting the block button over and over. Go back to your punches and kicks.
How do I duck?
Down. Just hold down. There you go.
Oh, that was a good move.
You just jumped.
How’d you come from behind?
That’s my special move. You have to do a sequence of moves to do a special move. They’re harder.
Why do you have a chain? What’s my special thing?
All right, all right. We’ll look at your special moves and see if you can learn how to do them. Push the white button. Well, push it once. Stop, stop. You’re button-mashing the Start button. That’s how you do all your moves, on the right there.
[My mom sees the complicated inputs for the Fatalities.] Oh, what the heck?
Those are Fatalities. Don’t worry about that. “Single shot.” That’s easy. You want to do the “Nutcracker”? All right. We’ll teach you. Here’s how you do the “Nutcracker.”
I go to the right, down, and then X?
Above: I didn’t have to go to quite these lengths to get my mom to agree to play Mortal Kombat.
Yeah. OK. Push start. Just try it.
Right, down, X.
You have to do it kind of fast. Do it like a rolling motion.
Right, down, X. Right, down, X. Right, down, X. Right, down, X.
Do it over there where you can’t hurt me. You have to do it really fast.
Right, down, X.
There it is! Now do it to me. You just kicked me in the nuts.
You needed an attitude adjustment. Right, down, X.
There it is.
Ooh, right in the balls. Right, down, X.
All right, all right. You’ve learned your move. Oh, there’s a good combo. You got me. Oh, you skipped your victory taunt. You’re hitting too many buttons. You got a trophy called “Jumping Bean.” Probably for jumping a lot in your match.