Above: It’s as cute as the comments were terrifying.
Other Ocean
The game: #IDARB — It Draws a Red Box (Xbox One, PC)
Developer Mike Mika is the guy who hacked Donkey Kong last year so that his daughter could play as Pauline and save Mario. His new project (with his company, Other Ocean), is the upcoming #IDARB, a game that started as a social-media prompt and eventually became something like a multiplayer online sports title with ridiculous power-ups and viewer interaction via Twitch and Twitter.
It’ll bring its special brand of joy to the world this fall.
The shame
Mike Mika, head of development:
Above: You’re in there somewhere, promise.
Robotron 2084, hands down, is the game that has shamed and humiliated me the most since I was a kid. And like some masochist, I keep going back to it. It is a masterwork of risk and reward. The sheer joy in the independent control of gunfire and movement is matched by a difficulty curve that hits you early and hard.
The beauty of the game is in the variety and volume of the enemies. In a sick way, it is a tortuous game of chess. Every enemy type has a unique pattern and semiotic design, but they can combine to spawn an entirely different kind of heuristic. The visuals are also stunningly minimalist yet bombastic. Moments where the screen is filled with geysers of pixels that momentarily cause you to lose track of your character are some of the finest gaming has to offer.
I still play Robotron regularly. I own an original arcade cabinet. To me, it is like a giant handbook for game design. A “how-to” guide for A.I. design, control, and difficulty ramping. It’s pure genius and devastatingly difficult.
Puuba Games
The game: Concursion (PC, Mac)
Concursion is a tough game to describe, but since I’m a writer, and that’s my job, I’ll give it a shot: It is every 8-bit game in one.
The concept is the standard “save the universe by collecting shards of a magical crystal/gem/jewel thing,” the reason being that the sundering of the Forever McGuffin has caused rifts to open in the universe. And what this means that you’ll be running along playing a platformer, and then you’ll jump into a hole in reality which causes you to instantly switch to playing a shoot-’em-up or a Pac-Man clone.
It’s kinda difficult to wrap your mind around, but it’s really cool in action.
The shame
Danny Garfield, president:
Back in the day, the one game that destroyed me more than any other would have to be Mortal Kombat. Stupid Goro, with his stupid extra arms, and his awesome hairdo, and his exclusive tickle parties .…
While I definitely almost tore more than one controller in half (twisting is key, not throwing), my own body was definitely the first victim. For some reason, at the age of 8 or so, I thought it was a really good idea to just punch myself in the thigh whenever I died to Goro. Which was a lot. Like, it’s incredible that I can still get around. That being said, Goro can not. I eventually destroyed him with the power of the Repeated Jumping Punch™.
Above: Yeah, that’ll happen. He has ALL the arms.
Beyond that, Mega Man is most definitely still my secret Jam. Guts Man, in particular, I found to be a monster. So many platforms, so much memorization. I feel like the level should have just been called “Pit Fall” rather than “Guts Man.”
Now, of course, I can jam through that level easily, even in the confines of my mind. That level is seared into my memory. And I absolutely crave more Mega Man, in any way shape or form. But the first time, I have to say, I hated Capcom and all it stood for.
David Bricken, level designer
I grew up with video games. I remember my childhood, in part, based on which games I was playing at the time. As I grew up, so did the industry, and there were some growing pains on both sides. Let’s call them “difficulty spikes.” I was mostly a peaceful child, but on several occasions, when I recall losing my temper as a kid, it was related to games I loved at the time, but which totally “cheated.” The original Ninja Gaiden comes to mind.
Above: Push Start to begin failing.
After literally weeks of trying, I finally got good enough to get to the end and spent an entire day trying to beat the boss (“the Jaquio,” whatever that means). Exasperated, I angrily pulled the game out of my NES, positioned it on the floor, climbed up on my desk, and delivered a masterful flying elbow drop to the cartridge. Afterward, though I was sore, the game still worked, so I put it back in the console and finally beat it.
This was the first time I can recall taking an objective look at my own rage and questioning whether anyone else felt that way after playing a game, but it wouldn’t be the last. I yelled at Star Fox a lot. I punched my TV a couple of times playing Street Fighter II. I thought I was all grown up, though, until about a month ago when I finally got around to trying Dark Souls, which caused me to dropkick my Xbox 360 controller. Maybe most games have just gotten easier, and I haven’t grown up after all — Dark Souls made me feel like a kid again.
Fermenter Games
The game: David (PC, Mac, iOS)
David is what would happen if Team Ico’s much-beloved Shadow of the Colossus came out in the ’80s and was also viciously difficult and unforgiving. You play as a square who has to defeat nine giant bosses, and you’re armed with nothing but an abstraction of a slingshot. It’s great. By which I mean I couldn’t beat it and then kinda gave up.
The shame
Andrew Armstrong, developer:
I’m only 22, so if it hadn’t been for my dad installing MAME on my computer at an early age to school me at Galaga and Joust, I wouldn’t have heard of many of the games I love. I’m super-glad he introduced me to these gems from the past, because they’ve been really influential both aesthetically and design-wise. In many older games, the ratio of simplicity/depth is phenomenal, and that’s something I strive for in my designs: elegance, yo!
Above: I never knew who was going to eat those burgers after I was done making them, but I was fully aware that whoever it was would be waiting for a while.
Anyway, one title that sticks out to me is BurgerTime, a game about a 2-inch tall chef. Really, it was a kind of cross between Donkey Kong and Pac-Man in which you have to build burgers by walking over the ingredients as you’re chased by eggs and sausages (both of which sound like great toppings on a burger, in my opinion). As a young one, I was just completely overwhelmed by everything I had to keep track of, and I had a really tough time choosing the most efficient path. Those dumb sausages would always trap me in a corner, and because of that I harbored a general sausage hatred throughout my childhood.
Dang sausages.
If you have any games that completely destroyed you, let us know in the comments. And check out part one if you missed it.