Audio/Visual
It’s no secret that Twisted Metal began life four years ago as a discounted download-only multiplayer game a la Warhawk. The difference is, Warhawk actually was a discounted download-only multiplayer game, whereas Twisted Metal has been repeatedly delayed and eventually shoe-horned into a full-priced retail package. And it was released in 2012, not 2008.

While this edition is definitely an improvement over previous Twisted Metal games, every single one of which has featured muddy, bare-bones graphics and super-chunky pixels, that’s not really saying much, especially considering they were all on much older hardware. By almost any other standard, Twisted Metal looks dated. Not terrible, mind you, as it has its moments — just dated.

While the visuals are passable, the music is far, far worse. Not since Avril Lavigne’s “Boyfriend” appeared in Burnout Paradise has there been a more mismatched licensed soundtrack in a game. Twisted Metal: Black had one licensed song, and that was all it needed. The rest of the score included heart-pounding original compositions that perfectly accentuated the frenetic gameplay while keeping the darker tone of the series front-and-center.

While playing the new Twisted Metal, I had to check a couple of times to make sure I hadn’t accidentally uploaded my own music collection…from the 8th grade. Some of Rob Zombie’s radio-friendly hits from two decades ago make a number of appearances on the soundtrack, as does NWA’s Straight Outta Compton. Seriously? Which painfully unhip Sony executive demanded that one?

I want to say that’s as bad as it gets, but like every game since Gears of War 2 fumbling over itself to be edgy, Twisted Metal features an embarrassingly horrid rap song during the end credits. I involuntarily eye-rolled and cringed at the same time; this is how I get rewarded for enduring such a frustrating experience? No thanks. To all game developers: It was funny/cool once, please stop now.

Online Pass
Eat Sleep Play has put a lot of emphasis on Twisted Metal’s multiplayer being the centerpiece of the experience. I guess it makes sense, then, that the multiplayer modes are locked behind a mandatory online pass. Players who have purchased a new copy of the game can find the online pass code on the back of their instruction booklet, but those who haven’t will be prompted to buy an online pass through the PlayStation Store.

Regardless of how you access multiplayer, there’s a very good chance you’ll be wanting to. After all, almost anything is made tolerable with friends around, and while multiplayer doesn’t fix any of Twisted Metal’s woeful shortcomings, you are more likely to overlook them online or in split-screen. Plus, unlike the story, coming in first doesn’t matter so much as incremental progress and just having fun.

Like every multiplayer game ever since Modern Warfare, there is a half-baked leveling/reward system (where you’ll unlock all the same stuff you just got done unlocking in the story), kill streak rewards, and more interestingly, Nuke Mode. Nuke Mode has the offensive team attempting to grab the defending team’s NPC leader and deliver him to a stationary or mobile missile launcher. If successful, the player will launch the missile and take control of it, with the intent of steering it into the enemy faction’s statue. The side that destroys the other side’s statue first wins. It can be a bit manic and offers the game’s one worthwhile tweak to the aging Twisted Metal formula, but it’s not a miracle cure for everything else that’s wrong with the game either.

Conclusion
I can barely even recommend this title to longtime fans of the series whose nostalgia may blind them to the many faults they’ll be encountering. Twisted Metal has never been remotely near the apex of technical game design, but that’s certainly no excuse to continue the trend. I’m surprised to see Sony celebrate the return of one of its few exclusive franchises with outdated visuals, watered-down content, obsolete gameplay, and a buffet of technical issues, yet that’s exactly what this $60 retail package consists of, albeit with a smattering of fun to be had when things go right.

I don’t condone secondhand sales, but I can’t imagine someone paying full price for Twisted Metal and feeling like he or she got their money’s worth.

Score: 60/100

Twisted Metal was released on February 14, 2012 for the PlayStation 3. A copy of the game was provided by the publisher for the purpose of this review.

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