The Naughty List
Tetris Animated Alarm Clock
At first glance, a Tetris alarm clock sounds like a fun, quirky idea, but your “friend” will grow to hate this thing. Granted, no one really loves something that jolts them awake in the morning, but this clock will eventually start throwing off someone’s entire day. It’s easily damaged and reportedly loses 30 seconds every few days on average, and the Tetris gimmick makes it practically impossible to tell the time with a quick glance.
$30 at ThinkGeek or $30.25 at Amazon
Hyperkin Pixel Art USB Classic Gaming Controller
One of the core necessities to good gaming is a comfortable controller, but this number from Hyperkin is as bad as it gets. That blocky design makes it awkward to hold. It looks absolutely ridiculous, and the button layout makes it impractical for most modern PC games. This controller’s more trouble than it’s worth, which makes it perfect for someone you really don’t like.
Pikachu Hat
(Image via Little Popos)
The new Pokémon is once again one of the biggest video games of the year, but even the most diehard fan wouldn’t be caught dead wearing one of these. Unless they have no shame, of course. And even if that’s the case, most people will still make fun of anyone over the age of 13 wearing these in public. Unless they’re a cosplayer or something. In that case, this may actually backfire spectacularly.
$4—$100 via Etsy
Video Game Soaps
Buying someone soap says two things: 1) “I didn’t really bother thinking of anything to buy you. 2) “You stink.” Video game soap can work for both statements, especially if you buy someone a soap based on a title they don’t even like. Double hatred points!
$5—$78 via Etsy
Assassin’s Creed IV Blade
(Image via McFarlane Toys)
We’ve tested these arm-mounted blades in a variety of situations, and these plastic things will usually break at the slightest hint of pressure. A hardcore Assassin’s Creed fan will be pretty miserable when that happens, but even if this stays intact, chances are that the spring mechanism will break. Either way, it’s eventually going to be a paperweight, and that’s a subtle victory for you in the end.
$40 at GameStop
World of Warcraft Panda Zip-up Hoodie
At the worst, people will think your friend or family member is a furry. At best, people will think your friend or family member is a furry. This World of Warcraft hoodie is a brilliantly evil “gift” to give any gamer, although be wary that this expensive garment many never see the light of day after the holiday season.