What would you say Mario is doing in the picture below?
Being awesome? Reminding you of your childhood? Both are good answers, but if given only one word to describe it, I bet most people would say that Mario is flying. And, of course, it’s that weird little raccoon tail that’s making it happen.
This image of Mario soaring through the air with a striped tail will instantly conjure up fond memories of Super Mario Bros. 3 for loads of people. Nintendo is aware of the soft spot so many hold for the iconic power-up, and soon a new (though much smaller) generation of Mario fans will see the plumber sporting a tail in Super Mario 3D Land for the 3DS. Unfortunately, they’ll also wonder how such a lame ability ever warranted so much hype.
That’s because Nintendo is woefully ignorant of why the tail won our hearts in the first place.
Now, what would you say Mario is doing in the Tanooki Suit at the end of this trailer?
Well, he’s attacking by spinning his tail, and he’s using it to slowly flutter back to the ground, but the trailer doesn’t show him flying. That’s because Mario can’t fly in Super Mario 3D Land.
Obviously, flight similar to that in Mario 3 wouldn’t work very well in a game like this, which seems to play more like the Mario Galaxy games for the Wii. However, that didn’t stop Nintendo from using the famous power-up as the game’s biggest selling point before even a single screenshot was revealed. They shoehorned the tail into all 3D Land media from day one, beginning with the game’s logo.
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Even before it was Super Mario 3D Land, the tail was there, hinting at the most iconic image from what is arguably Mario’s greatest outing. Since then, Nintendo revealed that the tail is actually everywhere in the game. Bowser has a tail, Goombas have tails, even Boos and Bullet Bills (which can already fly) have tails. I imagine it took a great deal of restraint for the staff at Nintendo to refrain from giving the Paratroopas and Bloopers tails as well.
It doesn’t end there, though. The plot also revolves around tails, or at least their source: Power Leaves. Apparently, a storm blows the leaves off a tree near Princess Peach’s castle and spreads them throughout the Mushroom Kingdom, justifying the sudden rash of raccoon tails throughout the game.
The leaves have even found their way into another game: Mario Kart 7. The latest entry in the popular racing series features new hang glider and submarine segments where drivers soar above the race track and cruise beneath the waves. You’d be mistaken, however, if you assumed tails affected a driver’s flight. They simply allow players to spin around and deflect incoming shells.
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At the very least, Nintendo could have thrown the tail into 3D Land as an occasional bonus like the Red Star in Mario Galaxy, which granted players a full minute of blissful flight. Instead, 3D Land’s gameplay appears to be at odds with its own marketing. The former attempts to bridge the classic 2D approach of New Super Mario Bros. with the eclectic 3D approach of Galaxy, while the latter attempts to appeal to our nostalgia in an incredibly shallow way. Nintendo should have designed the game completely around what makes the tail so special in the first place if they wanted to win over its fans. Otherwise, it just makes it clear that they’re not confident the game will sell very well on its own merit.
Fans of traditional Mario won’t be fooled by these imposter tails, especially with all the media Nintendo has put out demonstrating just how little they understand the power-up’s appeal. 3D Land will only sell to those who would have bought any Mario game (granted they own a 3DS), rather than those who buy the classically-inspired 2D variants in such numbers that shelves are devoid of Nintendo consoles for weeks on end. Sure, it will still be a fair amount of people, but with the 3DS in the situation that it’s in, I imagine it will take more than marketing gimmicks for Mario to save Nintendo’s hide.