If you ever considered "Let's explain Max Payne 3's mechanics while showing distractingly balletic gameplay footage at the same time" as a good idea, then congratulations! You should be in the trailer business.
Video Blips:
• Muck through this trailer's technical jargon for some slick gunplay from Max Payne 3. Sailing through the air like a human spear amid a soup of bullets is still pure Payne, but I'm still unsure over the prospect of playing as a bald, portly ex-cop shooting ambiguously ethnic enemies.
Continue after the break for the jungles of Ember Isle in Rift, an item hunt among the pages of XIII: Lost Identity, and Barry Steakfries' endless tango with the undead in Age of Zombies Anniversary.
• Elves extol their paradisal homeland of Rift's Ember Isle before throwing in the de rigueur "until…." Of course, most massively multiplayer games adhere to the established tenet that Elves Can't Have Nice Things, so this is standard procedure so far.
• XIII: Lost Identity dispenses with its predecessor's first-person shooter action for puzzle-based clickfests. Even more alarming is the severe lack of Norwegian falsetto vocalists in a game taking place within the pages of a comic book.
• Age of Zombies Anniversary brings us back to Halfbrick Studios' frenetic undead hordes and comically oversized heads. I'm already fat-fingering the rest of my electronics because of the chilly weather, so my iPad may as well take the extra abuse.