The effort is worth it. The gun is visible to other players and looks something like a crude metal Super Soaker constructed by bored goblins. When you use it, an extra action icon pops up in the middle of your screen. Punch it, and you send a huge gout of water at the person you have targeted, turning them blue, making them drip, and putting a large puddle at their feet. It’s glorious.
Toys to infuriate the masses
Above: The Piccolo of Flaming Fire: Minding your own business? Trying to eat or shop or role-play? Pfft. It’s dancin’ time!
But I don’t want to just transform my friends and enemies, you say. I want to annoy the crap out of them!
This is the category for you. Warcraft has a long and illustrious history of giving players items that annoy other players, and the selection after 10 years is so broad that it makes this category a tough one to judge.
Want a beam of light that stacks until it’s impossible to see? An item that makes you flinch or unable to attack anything, that knocks you down, or fills your inventory? Something to knock a player off their mount? You’re covered.
Players abused some toys so often Blizzard actually nerfed them. Snowballs used to knock anyone down — now they only affect people in your party and only if you’re not in a battleground.
The Toy Train Set, which places a model train on the ground that makes everyone in the vicinity do the /train emote (Choo! Choo!) with a loud whistle, was so reviled that there were stories of raid leaders who left 40-man dungeons because they couldn’t stand it.
Above: Players using transformation toys — Leyara’s Locket, the Celestial Defender’s Medallion, and the Magic Ogre Idol — are caught in the /train madness. (The cow-like tauren there is just photobombing, naked.)
Eventually, Blizzard put in the Wind-Up Train Wrecker so other players could do battle and added train-wrecking to the skill sets of battle pets that players could summon, such as Lil’ XT.
One of the most annoying toys in the Toy Box — in the current build, at least — is definitely the Train.
But my choice for overall most annoying toy is a classic: the Piccolo of the Flaming Fire. One of the very first toys in the game, it’s also one of the most irritating: When you use it, it plays one frequently repeating harp glissando and causes all other players in the area to drop what they’re doing and dance. Get yours by killing Hearthsinger Forresten in the Stratholme level-45 five-man dungeon.
Yes, players can cancel the Piccolo’s effects by moving. But with its relatively short one-minute cooldown, you can hit them again after just a few moments. Bonus points for using it on role-playing servers, where people are attempting to carry on conversations — that’s some seriously annoying stuff.
(One similar alternative is the Party G.R.E.N.A.D.E., which also makes NPCs dance. But sadly, it poofs on use, making it ineligible for the Overall Most Annoying title.)
The Piccolo isn’t in the current Toy Box lineup. Perhaps Blizzard knows just how annoying that thing would be if you didn’t even have to equip it before using it. But I’m waiting.
Toys that move you
Above: This screenshot of the kafa-crazed goat and the rampaging yak was only capturable by mashing on the screenshot key with wild abandon. Those are a couple of fast mounts.
Most toys change the way things look. There are only a few that actually move you to a different spot, and while this category has fewer items, they add a ton of fun.
On a small scale, this division includes toys like the Survivor’s Bag of Coins, which is only available to rogues. Pickpocket coins from humanoid creatures and then use the item on a spot on the ground, and you’ll jump in the opposite direction. You can chain the jumps to keep moving.
On a larger scale, some toys act like temporary mounts, making you look silly or move quickly or uncontrollably across the landscape. The Tuft of Yak Fur, which is sadly consumable, summons a giant yak with you on its back for 18 seconds. It moves fast — about 400 percent of your base run speed — but there’s one catch: no brakes. The only way to stop is to click off the buff that gives you the mount.
Don’t care for yaks? Try the coffee-crazed goat or the giant, lizard-like mushan.
Above: A mere screenshot cannot capture the awesomeness that is the Falling Flame.
The best toy for transportation is a doozy: Falling Flame. This item, which drops from the Cinderfall elite mob on the Timeless Isle, turns you into a meteor and throws you “far into the distance.” Really, really, really far. Trigger this little fella in the middle of one zone, and you’ll roll up into a spinning, fiery ball and hurtle all the way to the middle of another.
Yes, I know I’m breaking my own rules: This toy has 50 charges before it’s consumed … for now. Fifty charges is a lot of fun in one little toy. It’s not yet in the Toy Box, likely as a result of that consumable status.
Toys to change the world
Above: The Salyin Battle Banner: And they’re off!
Most toys give players the opportunity to change themselves or others. But a select few give us the chance to change the world. One lovely item, the Battle Horn, calls everything within 40 yards of your character to come attack you. (It’s also a contender for the “most annoying” title since you can use it in dungeons while you’re with other people.)
Less irritating, the Panflute of Pandaria will call any nearby cute little critters to follow you around in a crowd for 15 minutes.
If you’re trying to get rid of creatures instead of drawing them to you, there’s always the Salyin Battle Banner. It summons a Saurok lizard-man who calls your foes to chase him and then runs off.
Above: It’s not easy being green … unless you have Mylune’s Call.
One of the most dramatic area effects is from Mylune’s Call, which summons woodland creatures, grows flowers and grass under your feet, and creates pretty, swirly lights.
There are a ton of toys that enable you to drop items into the world that others can see. Some are cute but ephemeral: The Puntable Marmot, for instance, drops a little gopher that anyone can boot into the distance. The Golden Banana throws a big, heavy metal fruit with a thunk on the ground. Ruthers’ Harness summons Ruthers, the bad yak, which will chase you around for a few seconds before head-butting you and running away.
Above: Warning: Your friends can use the Gin-ji Knife Set on you after you die.
The Gin-ji Knife Set is another wonderful example: It takes any humanoid or beast corpse (including a giant raid dungeon boss) and slices and dices it into a small pile of flesh. It’s a nice way to get a big body out of the way if you have to fight something else in the same area. Personally, I enjoy watching raid dungeon bad guy Garrosh turned into lunchmeat.
My favorite toy that affects the game world, however, is an easy-to-get quest item: the Hozen Idol. Target a critter — one of the non-aggressive, typically cute and cuddly creatures that wander around WOW — and trigger the idol. Your eyes glow, sending a laser beam at the critter until finally it explodes. Mwahahahaha.
Above: The Hozen Idol: Bye bye, bug. Explosion incoming.
It’s the reward from a quest series that starts with “Traffic Issues” in the Kun-Lai Summit zone in Pandaria. Look for Smokey Sootassle near the Yaungol Advance to start the quests.
Did I miss your favorite toy? Which ones are you collecting first? The comments are right down there, folks.