Unlike most people I actually hate Mario. In fact hate might not be a strong enough word, I loath him. Something about that goofy grin makes me want to claw his face off. The fact that most of his characteristics seem to be ethnic stereotypes only serve to strengthen my apathy towards the character.

Where other gamers saw hours of fun in the mario games of old. I only saw chores that served to cut my teeth. To me Super Mario 64 was merely a means to an end. The game taught valuable skills that were needed in order to play other, more loved franchises. Of course as a child I wasn't fully aware of this but I like to think that on some level I knew that I wasn't actually enjoying what I was playing.

The reasons I hate Mario and his cohorts are various and myriad in number. The main reason would have to be the fact that his games always lack plausibility. In every game you could basically expect to do the same thing. Get invited to the castle for some cake–and upon arrival be forced to go on a quest to save the princess. This happened in game upon game and Mario never stopped to question the situation at hand. Not once did he take the time to wonder why the princess only seemed to be taken around the time that he decided to come over. Now I'm no expert but I am reasonably sure that there was obviously something in that cake. Something in that cake was obviously causing Mario to react without thought and rush to the Mushroom Kingdom. I don't think it would be a strecth to say that maybe Princess Peach was serving a very different baked good. Maybe cake is some kind of euphemism for muffin.

Another reason I find Mario to be such an epic fail, can only be attributed to what is obviously his many racial stereotypes. Everything about the character screams bigotry, from the over emphasized accent–to the fact that he went from pizza man to plumber. Sure this is humorous and in a game like Grand Theft Auto IV these very traits would have made this character near and dear to my heart. But when I play a game that is clearly marketed towards children I expect an appropriate main character. Maybe if this humor was more subtle and not so much in your face it wouldn't bother me as much but instead it's there in my face every second.

So yeah I hate Mario and think the gaming world would be better without him. Not that this stops me from playing every title that comes out under his name. What can I say these games are like cake and I'm an addict. Maybe me and Mario are more alike than I thought.