Dragon Quest IX has some of the cheesiest writing I've ever seen in a video game. The game is great, even to someone like myself who doesn't normally play turn-based rpgs. However, after a couple hours of playing it, anyone will notice the recurring puns and alliteration littered throughout the game's world. Even in the game's instruction manual, each section is introduced with gems like these:

"The Myriad Marvels of Multiplayer mode"

"Other Avenues for Adventuring"

"Top Tips for Travelers"

Clever. Beyond the annoying alliteration, the game uses the WORST PUNS EVER for enemy names. Here are 5 of the worst:

Lunatick

 

This one isn't all that bad, since its pronunciation is identical to the actual word 'lunatic'.

Sacksquatch

Why was it necessary to make an enemy that looks like a sack? Why not just make something that looks like an actual enemy (maybe Bigfoot?) and avoid this awful pun? I see the "sack" part of this pun, but fail so see what a vomiting bag has to do with Sasquatch.

Cyclown

At least this enemy isn't as hard to say as 'Sacksquatch'. Again, why didn't they make the enemy look like a clown if they insisted on giving it this awful name? I've never seen a clown with antennae. 

Meowgician

This is just awful. 'Meowgician' sounds like a punch-line to a joke told by an aging secretary. An aging secretary who has dementia. Again, was it that important that the magician be a cat? 

Cruelcumber

I don't even know what to say. This one is so awful that when I encountered one in a battle for the first time, I literally said "oh my god" and shook my head. Why a cucumber? Why call him 'cruel' but make him look so happy? None of this makes any sense.

 

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